Thursday, September 29, 2005

Harumph...

Woke up and still felt sick.

Packed my bag and headed out to class. People asked stupid questions and the heat was on high - I was practically asleep in my seat.

After class I stopped off at the apartment to quickly drop off my school books and headed out to NBN to meet with the career counselor. It was a 1:45 meeting but I got there 5 minutes early, no problem they told me and I went right up. Ten minutes later out I went. Basically she advised me to check internet job sites and to look into ulpan. It was basically tantamount to being slapped across the face and laughed at then told to go back to playing with my toys. Anyway, I left the office and once I got outside I tried to call Daddy - my phone actually worked (the second time) and I talked to Daddy until I broke out in tears at which point I hung up on him and went to Super-Pharm to buy little bottles for shampoo and conditioner. Then as I trudged dejectedly back to my apartment I decided to take a detour to the cookie factory (I was passing by anyway...) So, I got some cookies and then walked back to the apartment.

Sammy knocked on the door a little while later. She was waiting for Ora to finish school so she came over to visit. Shosh is still not feeling well either so Sammy insisted on making soup for us. It was YUMMY!!

Then she left and now I am waiting for Sassy to come over and return something that she borrowed. Menucha should be over soon too...

Tonight I will be going with Menucha back to Givat Shmuel and we will be having a major 'funny' movie marathon (When Harry Met Sally, Dracula Dead and Loving It and Grumpy Old Men.)

Tomorrow night is Shabbos - On Motzash I will IY"H be back in Jerusalem so I will hopefully update you on my Shabbos activities then.

Till then - Have a great Shabbos and remember Sukkot is coming!!!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

slip sliding along -

when everything seems wrong... just re-reoute.

It's a go with the flow thing. That does not mean that you should lose sight of your individuality and become 'just another somebody' rather you should follow the course that life is taking you on - as long as it's not hurting you. I mean, if you were being dragged down-river by the current and there was a waterfall with sharp rocks at the bottom then I would absolutely advise you to grab onto a tree branch or something. Cause there's NO way that is going to end up well (unless maybe you're really lucky and you sort of fall off to the side.)

Well, today was interesting.
Woke up really really early 'Kieeloo' 5:45 in the morning.
Didn't feel well (still). Called Home to ask to be picked up.
Watched "The Princess Bride" until Mommy and Sammy showed up.
Drove Home.
Made Rum and Spice dough.
Went to the doctor (who asked me "are you under any pressure or stress at the moment?" (hehehe... ummmm, no Doc. I'm just a normal 20 year old girl trying to live away from Home for the first (or is it third?) time, I go to school, do homework and projects, and am trying to find a job as well as juggle the insane schedules of all of my 'friends' who for some inexplicable reason want to spend increasing amounts of time with me!) "Stress?" I calmly respond with a smile. "What's that?" She immediately perscribed medication for me - I wonder why?!
Went Home and tried to work on my resume - wound up crying (again!?!?) and then got a "life isn't a straight line - move with it" shmooze from Daddy.
Went out to the pharmacy where I learned how important it is to make friends and be friendly and most importantly always smile (What? They expired two weeks ago? no problemo!)
Got tastreats for the family.
Went Home to eat dinner.
Worked on and finished my resume.
Drove back into Jeru with Mommy.
Picked up Brenda from the Botanical Gardens (we had an adventure getting there...)

And now, I am back in my apartment. Savta gave me the two bear quilts that I always used when I went to visit them in the summertime. I decided to make my bed and as I sperad the quilt out on my bed I took a second to stuff my face into it and take a deep breath - it smells just like Saba and Savta's house. That is one of the'comfort smells' in my life. It's nice to be lying in bed and smelling something that reminds me of love, comfort and my favorite breakfast (pastina.)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

For my peace of mind...

I have to admit - I thought that today would be better. I woke up at 6:00 and stayed in bed until 7:15 (when I deemed it close enough to being time to wake up Brenda) then I slipped out of bed and guess what? She was already up! Ha! Well, we got dressed and packed up her stuff then I sat with her while she ate breakfast and at a few minutes to 8:00 we headed out to the bus-stop. Unbelievably enough the bus didn't show up until half past eight! ridiculous if you ask me. But when it arrived she got on and went to school then I trudged back to the apartment stopping in the makolet on the way to pick up a bag of milk. Inside the apartment my stomach started acting up and suffice it to say - I spent all day lying on the couch because it was painful to walk or even to sit in a normal chair. I couldn't laugh or even blow my nose without my stomach feeling like it was going to explode. I did however manage to work on my resume (no, it is not finished yet.) At about 20:00 I started watching the movie "King Arthur" and with all of the breaks I took it didn't end until about 23:10. In the morning I will be heading home in order to go to the doctor (to see if she can figure out what is wrong with my stomach) and then hopefully will be returning to Jerusalem in the evening (along with a delivery of stuff from Savta and Saba's house!) For now though - I am going to try to sleep. I hope the Dr. can figure out what's wrong with me and make it go away because I really really want to be able to have a good time on Thursday with Menucha and Yoni and then I also want to enjoy Shabbos to the max.!!

Wish me luck!

Yet another one of those "capture the moment and save it to memory" pics. LoL! Me, Mommy and Brenda sitting on a tank in Latrun and checking out all of the prep going on for some tekes or another - (of course I spent more time studying the 'who's than the 'what's... :)

Boy do I miss vacation time. I know that chag is right around the corner but still... what could be better than spending a day on a totally wacky tiyul with the family?!

Monday, September 26, 2005

Shukin' an soupin' an sleepin' (over that is...)

Massage class...back to the apt...Menu came over...headed out to the shuk...yelled at the pita man for trying to steal a shekel from me...got lots of fruits and veggies...walked back to the apartment...put up a BIG pot of vegetable soup...waited for Sammy and Brenda to come...

Sammy and Brenda came (finally) and we set the table and then Sammy and I headed out to the makolet to buy some dessert (dessert is spelled with 2 'S's - because you always want 2 helpings!) We got ice cream sandwiches and boy were they good!

Dinner went nicely - we had really good veggie soup (the special ingredient was a dash of chili powder...), Ice cream sandwiches and french fries!

Sammy, Shosh and Menucha all bullied me and convinced me that for Shabbos I should not go home but rather go out to Givat Shmuel to Menu's apartment and spend Shabbos in 'Bar-Ilan-Land' all I can say is - this sure is going to be an interesting Shabbos.... (Maybe we'll even find some fluff? who knows? I'm not counting on it though...)

The Av Bayit knocked on the door to tell me that I owe him money and that I should pay up. He's a frightening sort of person... I didn't get a very nice 'first impression' from him.

Sammy left at about 7:40 to head home (cause she needed to meet with her music teacher) soon after Menucha also headed out. Brenda opted to stay though - so we set up the sofa and got ready for bed. Rather than bed-time stories we opted to watch 'A Knight's Tale' (Heath Ledger - ummm, can you say really really fluffy fluff?!?!)

At 10:30 there was a knock on the door. We all jumped - I mean we were sitting around in our pjs and were convinced that it was the Av Bayit - coming to yell at us again... so we got up in a mad scramble to find clothes and figure out who was knocking on our door. Turns out it was Sassy - fresh out of R' Orlowek's class she had decided to stop by and say hi. We fed her the rest of the Veggie soup and finished the movie.

Now Shosh is practicing face massage techniques and I am going to head to bed...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Flex...Re...Olo...Gee...

Woke up when Sammy woke up, fell back asleep for an hour, Woke up when Sammy came back after her 'morning routine' decided to get up... "ya'alah byed" Sammy and went off to do my own 'morning routine' Packed my bag and headed out to catch the 8:00 bus.

Waited till 8:20 for the 8:00 bus. Got into Jeru by 8:50 and was in my apartment by 9:00. Unpacked and re-packed for class. Went to class. I was THE Dummy! Wow, it was nice! (Of course everybody commented on my beautiful (toe)nail-polish. (Thank you Daddy for choosing such a great color!) We finished learning the Urinary System and then did 'practical.' Miriam (the teacher) walked around and gave everyone who was working on somebody a 'quick' neck and shoulder massage. Well, at that point I was ready to fall asleep.

After class we headed back to the apartment. We 'assembled' our lasagnas (for dinner) then Shosh headed out to work. I sat around doing nothing and procrastinating (my resume and the food cabinet) luckily (for me) Menucha called - she was in the neighborhood and wanted to know if she could stop by. I said YES!!! So she came over and I (attempted semi-successfully) to make popcorn then we ran out to the makolet to buy a chocolatey messy mush of a cake and returned to the apartment and settled down to watch The Road to El Dorado! (I LOVE EL DORADO!!!)

At 6ish I put the lasagna in to bake and by 7:00 Shosh was almost home so I took off the top and let it brown. Then - we ate! YAY!! It was actually pretty good (not enough salt. never enough salt! except for when it's popcorn and I pour the salt in from the wrong side! Right Nuch?)

Menu left to head back to her place - Shosh is working on the puzzle and I'm doing this while we wait for the second lasagna to finish cooking (so we can stick it in the freezer for some day in the future when we want a yummy dinner...)

When the lasgna is finished we will head out for a 'walk' and when we get back we'll practice the opening massage moves. Then 'sleep time' - truth be told, that's the part that I'm excited for.

Ya'alah Bye...

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Shabbat in a nutshell...

Erev Shabbos - Well, basically all of our Shabbos meals were 'left-overs' from last week. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it was all AMAZINGLY deeelicious! The deli-roll and the split pea soup were fresh and - well, let me just sum it up as it's a good thing we didn't walk to Aviv cause i wouldn't have made it up the rabid wolves (wild rabbits) path. By the time Shabbos came in everyone was showered and dressed so it was a calm transition into the 'Holy Day.' Shul, eat, sing, shmooze, walk, bed (kick Brenda in the face - but not really.) Finally - sleep.

Shabbos Day - woke up early, actually maded it to shul ON TIME!, there were no Kohanim (which was annoying), went Home, ate lunch, listened to the story of my father's life (by the way Daddy you skipped 8th grade, we asked Aunt Sabrina and she clarified for us.) After a 4 hour story (and tons of inspiration and advice) the girls headed out for a walk - we went to Saba and Savta's house. YAY! It was a lot of fun and also really nice. We shmoozed with Savta and then Saba came home from Shul then we shmoozed with Saba too! We heard about our Great great aunt who almost set the cat on fire (but it was the cat's fault) and then after Shabbos Saba made Havdala and Savta made omlettes for us (cause the pizza just wasn't coming!) They were the yummiest omelettes I've had in foreverness. Then Mommy picked us up and took us Home. I got into bed and kept falling asleep and Sammy kept waking me. Then Sammy got me a drink (cause i looked thirsty) and finally she got into bed got comfortable (only then did I hand her the remainging half a cup of water that I didn't want...)

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Polygon - Bye Bye Me!

Quarreled with the dragon (after a fashion), went to anatomy class (have I ever mentioned that I HATE people who get all puffed up and act like they know everything - when they don't - and then waste everybody's time asking stupid questions because they weren't listening in the first place because they were too busy acting like they knew everything!), caught the 416 bus home, arrived to an empty house, sat around for an hour and a half, ate dinner, stole a shirt from Sammy (for Shabbos), ate dinner, polished the candlesticks and washed the glass cuppy thingys, had a movie/bonding time/experience with Brenda, listened to Eli talk all about his week in school while typing this.

I think I'm going to go to sleep now. I need to get up early to make breakfast for Sammy (she's on an over-night tiyul and will iy"H be home at about 9:00 tomorrow morning.)

I can't believe it's Shabbos again. Where did the week go?

I need to write my resume'. I need to figure out what to say to the NBN lady in my meeting. How do I explain in 'nice terms' that I don't like people and that I want a 'flexible schedule' (I'm doubting that my 'dream job' exists.)

To sum up the situation -

Shnat.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

fyve meeenoootes...

uh-huh...sure...what-ever you say. Oh, you must mean 'Jewish Time...'

Don't you just love days where things work out so perfectly that it's scary?

Well, today wasn't exactly like that, but it was pretty good.

Woke up early, got out of bed late (I'm not getting any better at this, no matter how hard I try.), made hash-browns (they were almost Inverness good), left the apartment to walk to Afikei, stopped to get on a bus (cause it was really hot out) and suddenly my phone informs me "you have 4 new messages."

Let's sum up the whole situation by saying - I got to sit through Rabbi Nissel's class and then sit in my apartment for almost three hours too. Fun, no? The shlepper dudes were free, so my washer the sofa and coffee table got put on a truck and Daddy, Sammy and Brenda headed into Jerusalem.

Finally they arrived - first the sofa came up followed by the washer and finally the coffee table! YAY! The apartment looks 'homey' now! This is very exciting. Even better, Daddy took lots of time and hooked up the washer and tested it and guess what... it works! It really does!

But, by far - the most special treat was Daddy hooking up my internet! I can now surf the net from my very own sofa or my bed if I so choose cause it's all wireless!! It's amazing! (All for the low price of 81 shekels a month... lol!)

I got to 'entertain' for the first time, I fed my guests potato bourekas and veggies! (Boy am I glad we went shopping yesterday!) Only problem I encountered was that there were 5 of us and my dishes are only service for four...

Oh well. We survived.

The most traumatizing moment of the night was when Daddy told me that we should write a note to the 'Av Bayit' (because I'm too scared to knock on his door and talk to him) to find out how much we need to pay him every month and how. Daddy wrote a 'rough draft' for me and then as I was re-writing it Sammy rushed him out the door. I'm a little worried about what this guy is going to think (especially because Daddy used some BIG words that I had trouble understanding.) I did however sign off the letter with a quick note of apology for butchering his language. I hope he doesn't have too much trouble reading it. We shall see...

The Moral of the Story - Ulpan Works.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

It's great to have friends!

Woke up at 7:00 am. Got out of bed after Mommy called me at almost 11:00. Got dressed, talked to Becca J (whose father is in Korea. So, she called to find out the time difference between Australia and Korea...) then headed out with Shosh to Zol Po. We bought food! YAYAY!!! This is actually very exciting for me!

I also finally got up the guts to call Nefesh B'nefesh and set up an appointment to meet with a career counselor - so now I'm on the derech towards getting a job! (Anybody want to come with me to the meeting? I hope I can find the place...)

Daddy got my modem for me! YAY!! Now he's just got to come in and hook it up...

Shlepper is booked (sort of...) So I should be getting my washing machine at some point.

After lunch Shosh left for work and I was in the apartment all alone. I thought about going out to town with my computer to check my e-mail and update my blog but I found out that I could intrude upon my friends weekly monday night/tuesday day of solitude and self-imposed 'hibernation.' So I braved the number 18 bus rush and headed out to Emek Refaim. (as is evident by the fact that I have updated my blog - there is wireless internet set-up.) We chilled for a while (in the air-conditioning) and relaxed.

Tonight I think I will join her and go to a shiur in Har Nof. It's supposed to be a really good speaker. A spiritual high for ten shekel - worth a try, no?

We shall see...

Monday, September 19, 2005

My achin’ footsies!

As predicted my eyeballs popped open at 5:00 this morning. I refused to get out of bed until 8:30 though. We got to class on time even though we had to run to make the lights and almost got squashed. We continued Facial Massage, learned a few new moves and the ‘real order’ for beginning and got a ton of handouts.

I dunno, it was pathetic I just couldn’t relax. I’m too tense (to be precise I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam…get it? Two tents? HAHAHA!) My teacher noticed that something wasn’t right she asked me if I was alright, I couldn’t really explain at the time (which she also understood) so she just asked me if I had her phone number and told me to call if I wanted to talk. I really appreciated that. She is so sweet!

After class I called Menucha (who I will be referring to in this blog as Menu, Nu, Nuch Menuch or whatever else comes to mind as I type. Consider this your warning.) We met up outside of TM (Tachanah Merkazit) and decided to walk to town. On the way we stopped in at the shuk for about 45 seconds then continued on. At town we went straight to Chor Bakir. I have been looking for a new skirt for months (since my skirt is now officially too big on me and is also springing holes.) Unfortunately they never seem to have the style skirt that I want (basically, I want a new one – just like my old one but I need a 4 now rather than a 5.) Today was no exception. I looked and looked but couldn’t find my skirt. I was so desperate that I started trying on different skirts. After the third one (that I didn’t like) I was losing hope and suddenly Menu walks over and says “here you go, try this one, it’s a 4!” I looked at it and realized that she had miraculously found THE skirt that I have been searching for! Even better, I had expected to spend the usual 110-130 shekel on my new skirt and it seems that it was an ‘old style’ so it was on sale for 49 shekel! I got THE skirt that I wanted and only spent 12 Dollars on it!!! How exciting is that?! (Well, I thought it was pretty amazing!) THANK YOU MENUCHA!!! After finding my skirt we wandered around to the ‘hippie stores’ and then to the fabric store (for no reason in particular) and finally headed back towards TM and my apartment. On the way we decided to stop by the Shuk (again) and get some stuff. Back at my apt. I settled down for a few hours of boredom and Menu headed off to meet a Chavruta for a learning session. I spent my time wisely, I entered a ton of data into my Microsoft Outlook and tried to organize all of my friends birthdays, anniversaries and general holidays in the calendar. I am in denial – Rosh Hashana is NOT a short 2 weeks away! I also put up a pot of soup. I decided that not eating Bichlal is not a good idea, nor is it a healthy way to live – so I decided to eat (not that it had any real health value but at least I ate.) Once again I drank Vitaminchik for a small dosage of vitamins (I’m pretending that it makes a difference.) Menucha came back at 18:30 and we listened to ‘The Muppets’ then headed out to Har Nof to pick up some of her stuff from her sister’s dorm. The walk was nice (it’s cool out, but it’s also muggy…) and we succeeded in getting the pots. On the way we stopped off at the candy store – Menu got gummy worms and I got some chocolate covered mints (yum!) Somehow she became my friend the figummy and we agreed that we would both marry ‘cute fluffy guys’ (not a clue, I thought they were supposed to be scruffy or maybe it’s a synonym?…) We decided to bus back and finally got back to my apartment. We schmoozed some more and then Menu had to go. So we said g’bye and off she went. I decided to watch a movie but was too lazy, so I wrote this instead. Shoshana is still out babysitting and won’t be back for a while.

Maybe I’ll fall asleep? Who knows? I’ll try it. Why not? Can’t hurt, might help…

Wish me luck with tomorrow and even more wish me luck with Wednesday – two days with NOTHING to do. Oy!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

In My Apartment – Take 486,551,79

Second Reflexology Class. Learned how to boost the Urinary System (kidneys, bladder etc. etc.) through specific spots on the feet. During ‘practical’ we drew the three lines (Diaphragm, Waist and Sciatic) on the foot and then found the Major Tendon and the Kidneys. It’s so cool! I’m enjoying this a lot! I’m even learning something!

Turns out my parents miscalculated something so Mommy wound up driving Eli out to Kedumim again this morning, which threw off all of our plans for having the shlepper ‘do his thing’ today and bring me my couch and my washing machine.
On the bright side, since the shlepper wasn’t coming and I had lots of free time, I decided to pop by Afikei and see what was going on. I got to sit in on Rabbi Lauffer’s Kuzari class, Tehillim with Rabbi Cohen and a new course called ‘Emunah and Middos through Calvin and Hobbes’ with Rabbi Shuster! After classes I got to chill with Sassy for a while and finally started her new scarf for her. Shosh met up with us at 18:45 and we decided to go to the Kotel. Busses (due to ‘Transportation Day’) were free from 15:00 and onwards so, we took four ‘guilt-free’ and ‘money-free’ bus rides. At the Kotel we davened and then headed back to the apartment. (Side-note and slightly a lot off of the topic – there was a majorly majorly scruffy puppy with soulfully brown eyes on the bus! Why Oh Why am I so pathetically shy when it comes to stupid things?! ARG!)

We got off at TM and took a 39 bus one stop to Herzl (heck, why not? It’s free, remember?) Then we went up to the apt. and then walked Sassy back down. Stopped at the Makolet on the way up then ate dinner (rice cakes with peanut butter, nuts and some petel syrup with seltzer (for vitamins!) Yummy!

Hopefully I’ll be getting my room organized soon (painted, bookshelved, second bed…) and once I do I’m hoping that I overcome this weird mental block that prevents me from sleeping in my room. It’s ridiculous! I love the peace and quiet of five in the morning – but NOT every single day!

So, I’m gonna go to sleep now, so that when I wake up at 5:00am I won’t be quite so tired…

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Happy Bat-Mitzvah Kiddush!

I actually managed to wake up on time. By 7:50 I was ready to go. So, I did. At the shul I got right to work setting up ‘my table’ (the dessert table) In general I am NEVER pleased with the results that I achieve but it did look pretty nice. The center of the table was a cascading mountain of chocolate crinkle cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies and chocolate chip cookies flanked the pile on both sides while platters of delicate (and delicious) cinnamon snail cookies decorated the table.

Needless to say – even though I was IN the building, I still got to Davening late. (Another one of the stories of my life.) Right before I started P’sukei D’zimrah I realized that Eli still wasn’t in Shul, so I ran Home to wake him up. He made it to Shul in time for his Aliya (B”H!) Then I went with Ora to get the fruit platters from her fridge. Finally I got some time to Pray so, I did.

After Shul came – THE KIDDUSH! In my own twisted little mind I like to imagine that people were honestly impressed by what they saw. In reality, I find it difficult to imagine that anyone actually spared a thought for how much effort went into this affair. Considering that we made ALL of the food (by food I mean, confections and concoctions – NOT the actual stuff – for example, yes - we bought the potatoes and the onions but we concocted and cooked the Kugel!) Whatever, I really shouldn’t let it get to me. I just have to keep reminding myself how callous and cruel people are, and that I can’t stand them in general. On a different note, it was nice to sit with the ‘young people’ and shmooze a little. (Every once in a while it is nice to pretend to feel like you actually belong somewhere to a particular group of people. And even more so, to pretend or try to imagine what it would be like if you had friends that you could spend your time with in a similar manner.)

After Shul, we cleaned up headed Home ate lunch, schmoozed and learned how to play Huggermugger. Rather Sammy and Chaim decided to play and Eliyahu and I sort of joined in. We decided that you need to be very lucky and that alphabet soup is a pain in the butt.

All too quickly Shabbos was over. We made Havdala and Shosh and I decided to head back to Jeru. So we packed and headed out to the bus. After ten minutes a Sheirut (full of Reishit guys) stopped in front of us and the guy in the front said “you want a ride to Jerusalem?” – well, suffice it to say that we declined the offer – but fifteen minutes later still waiting for the bus I was ready to kick myself for turning him down. Then I was thinking to myself, “Double shoot! He was cute too (and probably 2 years younger than me and rich to boot!)!” As if on cue - the cherry on the whole horrible episode… Who should come sauntering down the hill to the bus-stop but Mr. Pompous himself. Mr. Pompous (as he shall be called until he can prove himself to be something else – although he is unaware of this proviso as well as the nickname) showed up and immediately began being himself. Now, personally I have nothing against him. Truth of the matter is he’s a nice guy and he’s even got a brain (that is in working order) but sometimes, I just want to whack him in the head with a 2x4 or something. Most of all, I can’t believe he said that I talk a lot. (I have been accused of talking quickly, but never of talking a lot. Usually people want to know why I don’t talk at all, and there he is saying to me, “You do talk a lot, and you talk very fast…”) Arg! Stupid boy.

Back in my apartment, I got ready for bed and now – am going to sleep…

Friday, September 16, 2005

Erev Kiddush...

So, now I’ve been Home for the majority of the week. Finally it’s Friday and Shabbos is coming but first we have to do all sorts of ‘really important’ stuff. You know, clean the house, go to Lamed Hey, Bake a cake for Aunt Sharon’s birthday, set up the kiddush room, laundry, laundry, laundry, annoy the cats…

Yeah, so as not to bore you I’ll skip over the ‘boring’ parts (also known as – the parts I don’t remember…)

Shosh came at some point. We managed to find enough of the bedroom to pull out the third bed. Got ready for Shul – I wore my pretty pinky bluish wrap again! YAY for me (not caring what other people think about me wearing the same every week!!) Headed to Shul. Shani was there. YAY for Shani! The Freaky Boys were there (some of them anyway… I’m not exactly sure how many of them there are supposed to be.)

After Shul we walked to Saba and Savta’s house for the meal. The Preisers were there already. It was great to spend a Shabbos with them. We don’t get together often enough. Not much is new with them – aside from Chaim really (really really) needing a hair-cut and a shave. (Of course, that’s my personal opinion – but I’m entitled to my own opinions and seeing as this is my blog… you know what? Get over it.) Yeah, so as I was saying…

Chicken soup, veggies, chicken, Uncle Ben’s rice and more… ‘nuff said.

Finally we headed Home. Upon arrival everyone went straight to sleep.

The End.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

That's not POISON it's extract of LLAMA!!!

Woke up to Sammy shaking me by the shoulder and saying 'wake up.' I tried to go back to sleep but I had to get up. So, I did. I took my clothes down to the 'kids' bathroom' to get dressed. I tried to put my skirt on but I couldn't close the zipper, then I realized that it had pockets and then I noticed that the bottom wasn't ripped. Finally I decided that G-d was playing some really nasty tricks on me - so I went upstairs, put my glasses on and gave Sammy back her skirt.

Took a bus into Jerusalayim. Spent 40 minutes in my apartment before heading over to school for the first 'Physiology and Anatomy' course. Quick summary of events... The lady fainted, I could NOT pronounce my teacher's name, we learned that when we are not happy our cells are not happy and last but not least, we were dismissed at 11:30 instead of 13:00.

I caught the 12:00 bus Home. Once in the house I started baking (again) Rum and Spice cookies (for somone who asked for them but really doesn't deserve them.) Then I cut up red, yellow and green peppers into 'strips' for the 'veggie baskets' and peeled carrots too. All in all, I think that I was pretty helpful. Annoying but helpful.

I ate Doritos and saved the Pog for Avi (he loved it), Daddy bought 3 boxes of PB Captain Crunch (it was on sale) for me and the Dibble to share, We went to Office Depot and got Sammy an Ipod case, Picked up Eli from the train, drove half-way Home with our headlights off and made Gluten Free pasta salad.

Ok, now I have to beg of you to exuse me for including this slightly vulgar story in my blog but I felt that it was too funny to go unrecorded... Sammy was giving the Sunshine a shower. Before his shower she told him to use the toilet. So he climbs up onto the seat and is sitting there. Sammy goes out of the bathroom to give him some privacy and a short while later she hears a "plop" followed by the Dibble's comment of "ewwww, that was a slimy one..." I apologized before. No hard feelings, right?

Also, have you seen my father's car keys. He had them before lunch but at some point between putting food in the car and eating snack they disappeared. We would call them, but they can't answer (and unlike a cell-phone they don't ring...)

The million dollar questions of the night are - Where are Daddy's keys and who is that talking in the basement?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

When Cookies Attack - The Saga Continues...

Ok, so as if yesterday's adventure with cookies wasn't enough, I did some more today. I finally baked the crackle cookies (they came out looking amazing!) and I finished up the oatmeal raisin dough too.

Aside from the cookies - the only real 'fun and excitement' I had all day was going out to the Ramah with Mommy, Saba and Savta. We went nuts - I mean, bought nuts at the health food store then spent a solid hour in Zol L'mehadrin.

Sammy come Home from school and promtly headed out to babysit (of course first we had an argument about cleaning the Shul. Ok, I was being a little denser than usual in the whole thinking thing - but still, cut me some slack. And Emmy was right. Maybe this week IS a Jewish week and Monday really will be after Wednesday. Anything is possible. No?)

Speaking of babysitting, I watched Dibble and Sand-box whilst Mom and Dad took Brenda (whiny, kvetchy, birthday girl) out for ice cream - in honor of her birthday.

The Dibble was not overly impressed by the book I had chosen to read to him. (Granted, it was all about teaching teddy-bears how to mind their manners... but still, I mean - in the middle of 'the importance of saying please and thank-you' to just turn over and start snoring.) *Big Sigh*

Then I went downstairs to try to straighten up the kitchen somewhat. In the middle of washing dishes I heard a noise by the front door, but when I went to check it out nobody was there. Half an hour later (when the 'rents finally got Home) I opened the door and there was a pretty silver bag containing another little silver bag with a mezuzah inside of it.

No name. No return address. No Identifiable simanim...

Nuu Rabbi? What do we do with it?

I have an idea - I'll sleep on it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

'C' is for Oogiyah?

After yesterday's excitment today was a 'chill' day. I dragged my (unforgiving) body out of bed at 7:40. Exhausted but filled with a purpose I struggled into my skirt and headed downstairs. Daven, breakfast, cookie-dough...

The rest of the day consisted of 'cookie-dough' lots and lots of it.

First I made it all - Chocolate chip, Cinnamon Snail, Chocolate Crackle...

Then I baked all of the Chocolate chip cookies. I learned something new, if no one eats any dough and you use the 'little ice cream scooper' then you get 101 cookies out of a double batch of dough. Cool, huh? As a reward for learning this brilliant and enlightening fact I treated myself to the 101st ball of dough (and boy was it GOOD!)

I spent the rest of the afternoon shaping 'snail cookies.'

Shani showed up at some point and then the guys came to replace the smashed glass in the back door.

After the last tray of Snails was cooked, Brenda and I went down to the basement and (finally) watched the Second Swan Princess Movie. It was so pointless and funny that I kept on watching. At least the animation was on the same level as the original had been (not like Atlantis II...)

After the movie I woke Sammy up and made her go upstairs.

Now it's time to sleep again, I'm going to try to set my i-pod so that it automatically turns off at some point. I don't think that there is a way to do that but, we shall see...

Monday, September 12, 2005

The Day the Lift Came...

Massage class this morning. Learned the first four basic moves for the forehead. Then got 'oily' as we tried out our moves on each other. After class I headed Home. Saba and Savta's lift was on it's way to their house.

What's 40 feet long, ten feet high and green? Saba and Savta's lift! The crew who was there was an interesting bunch. It took a while to get everything organized (I mean there were 16 pages of box information.) Finally we had it down to a science. Someone yelled me the box number, I gave a room number, they nodded and stalked off grumbling and shlepping a box. Six hours and 560-something boxes later (not counting all of the doubles) the container was empty. It was about 23:00 and it was time to go Home.

Goodnight World.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Shalom Regel...

Dragged meself outta bed early, early in the morning. Got on a bus with Menucha and went into Jerusalayim. Went to me apartment, got me books, walked to class... class? yep. My FIRST EVER REFLEXOLOGY class! YAYAYAYAY! It was amazing! I loved it! The teacher told us the history of 'holistic medicine' and then she showed us a diagram of the foot and taught us where the three main 'lines' on the foot are, the she said "nuuu, choose partners, take off your shoes and get to work." It was great, we got right into the 'hands-on' stuff in the first class!

After class I went out with Menucha. we headed over to Bet Ofer to pick up her Teudat Zehut (toodie zehootie - as Daddy calls it.) We met a few of her friends on the way and after about an hour and a half of wandering around the NBN office, we headed out to Kanfei Nesharim to get some ice cream. We got back to the apartment at about 18:00 and we made dinner. We shmoozed until almost 20:00 and then Menucha headed out to the bus (for the looong ride back to Tel-Aviv.) At almost 21:00 Shosh and I headed out for a 'walk.' It was great, we got a real work-out. We walked for an hour all around the neighborhood.

Back at the apartment we relaxed and got ready for bed. Tomorrow - massage.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Another Shabbos

Menucha came over for Shabbos! (YAY! Cause it totally raised my spirits and made me a happier me!) I'm not even going to go into how we spent Friday night. Suffice it to say it was 'crazy' and we didn't go to sleep until almost 1:00.

Shabbos morning - Went to Shul. There was a kiddush for all of the 'new members' of the community. I actually identified two of the 'freaky boys.' Talked to Ora and had a good time. Lunch was really late, but it was good. Then I went to bed and read Tigana (for the fourth time.) A little before the sun started setting I went downstairs - watched Mommy play soccer with Avi while playing football with Ezri and watched an acquaintance frighten - I mean - entertain his niece. Then I went back to bed and then Shabbos was over.

After Shabbos we said Havdala and then spent time wandering around the house until an 'acceptable' hour to go to sleep. Then I packed my bags updated my blog and now it's time to sleep...

Friday, September 09, 2005

How Sad is This?

I'm at Home, and now I wish I were in Jerusalem in my apartment.

Life is hating me right now.

I can't find a job.
I can't find an ulpan.

And yes -

I guess that makes me fat and ugly (and evidentally lacking in social graces and people skills.)

Maybe I should take that 4pm-midnight job.
I don't have a life anyway.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

For the Last Time:

* I did NOT really want to invite the gardener out for iced coffee.
* I did NOT want to sniff the melon.
* I did NOT mean to get into a dispute with Sammy over when Eli should or shouldn't be sleeping.
* I did NOT really want to find a live bug crawling around in the flour that I was sifting.
* I did NOT need to be stared up and down and appraised by the ugly, old, slimy type guy in Mister Zol who almost whacked me in the face trying to 'pick bags' for his tomatoes.
* I did NOT like the 'brand spanking new' shaped chocolate milk bag that you can't fold up neatly.
* I did NOT find a job yet.
* I did NOT find an ulpan yet.
* I did NOT like shaving with just the little shaver head because I forgot my shaver in my apartment.

* I DID go to RBS Bet with my elbows semi-uncovered. (And am still alive to tell the tale.)
* I DID think that the cat looked funny when he chewed on his own foot.
* I DID think that there was something wrong with kitty when he couldn't reach his own tail to wash it (not improved by the fact that Mommy helped him out by holding it in an accessible place for him.)
* I DID want to eat three bags of Doritos for breakfast and then get Burger's Bar for lunch. (but, I didn't.)
* I DID get my watch battery fixed (and it cost me a whopping 15 shekel!)
* I DID crash the shopping cart into Mommy on purpose.
* I DID want to find my 'B-E-H' (but, didn't.)
* I DID want to have my skirt fall down around my ankles while carrying the heavy thing up the stairs.

* I DO hope that Eli gets Home from school tonight in one piece.
* I DO hope that times moves EXTRA slowly so that I have LOTS more time at home.

* I do NOT want to have to go back to my apartment if I don't have any 'official' way to keep myself busy.
* I do NOT want to be treated like a 2 year old (even though it seems that I do suffer from homesickness.)
* I do NOT want to be told that I can't do things because I am 'a girl' or because 'it's simply not done like that.'

and last but not least -

To the guy who was standing in the middle of Ha'arazim in his boxers...

Dude, you may think you're 'all that' but truth be told, you're just an idiot standing outside in your underwear!

I'll drink to that...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

AHHHHH!!!!

STUPID INTERNET SHMIDJIT!!!!! I HATE THIS!!!! (I just spent half an hour typing up a really nice, positive and upbeat post and when I went to publish it - the internet froze and the whole thing got lost. So now you get this, cynicism and sarcasm with a dash of tick-ed-off-ed-ness. A general Lori special. Enjoy!)

Why is it that things NEVER work the way that I want them to? Even when I check them a zillion times in practice runs and trials - they just fall apart at the most crucial moment.

For example: me and my apartment. I was doing just great until I was left there for a full day. Part days were fine and I was convinced that to be there full time would be no problem. Flopped result of that - me crying constantly for four days, going Home and a massive migraine that finally dissipated early yesterday afternoon.

I've been home for two days now and it has been great. Today I went with Mommy to get paper-goods for Brenda's Bat Mitzvah kiddush in shul (next Shabbos.) I also spoke to Menucha (who arrived in Israel this morning as an official Olah! YAYAYAYAY!!! SOOOOO EXCITING!! MAZAL TOV!!!!) What else? laundry. I'm good at laundry.

Sadly though, that's all.

Doing nothing at Home is a 'cinch'. Doing nothing in my apartment makes me cry 24/7. Why? good question. I have not the foggiest.

An annoying sense of gloom is settling over me because I have only a day and a half of freedom left at Home. (Shabbos doesn't count because I can't 'do anything' all day - and I have to go into Jerusalem the next morning. Unless, I make some new friends or find people to hang out with that make the time worthwhile and 'well-spent.')

My goals for now are to find a job, find an ulpan and to get settled in a routine and live in my apartment full-time. (Except of course for Shabbos. Cause I like to be Home for Shabbos.)

Wish me luck...

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Fa-shnizzle and Fa-shnat...

Let me begin with this amazing bit of news - I slept for EIGHT hours straight last night!!! (I haven't slept for more than 5 hours in a row for the last three weeks.)

By the time I decided to get out of bed it was already late (9:00 am.)

I spent the majority of today trying to organize Brenda's bedroom. Of course the fact that maybe I should re-organize my own stuff only occured to me after about 4 hours and five loads of Brenda's laundry. (At least her bed will smell clean tonight.)

Mommy made my favorite-est supper - macaroni and cheese and onion soup!

I didn't manage to get any further on the 'find a way to keep yourself busy in the afternoons and evenings for the next two years' thing.

Hopefully tomorrow will yield better results.

I am now eating a little bear shaped cake that was frosted and has been sitting around since Shabbos. I hope nobody else wanted it (I think I just ate its legs and part of it's lower stomach.)

I really hate it when people bake cakes in the special cake pans and then the food looks like it could have feelings. I know it doesn't but still - it's like those sadistic people who intentionally bite off the animal crackers' heads first or worse, save the heads for last so the cookies can feel every last bit of the pain.

Monday, September 05, 2005

My First Ever Massage Class...

I spent the night in my own bed, in my own room, in my own house and still I woke up at 6:00 in the morning. (I probably should mention the fact that my early awakening was unintentional and that had circumstances not unfolded as they did that I would probably have slept late and missed the bus.) It all started with hearing a tapping sound on my bed. "Why?" I thought to myself, "is Sammy tapping or knocking on my bed?" I then noticed that Kiddy Bear wasn't looking too happy and that there was a puddle on my bed. In a flash of insight I realized that the air-conditioner was dripping onto my bed. The steady tatoo that the drips drummed on my bed was too annoying to ignore. So, I grabbed a towel from Sammy's closet and tried hopelessly to dry my bed. I turned off the AC and removed the filters then spread the towel over my pillow to absorb the extra drips.

Flustered I decided to get up and get ready to go. I took a shower and was back in my bedroom 20 minutes later (this shocked Sammy, who tried hopelessly to understand how I had finished in the bathroom in less than 45 minutes to an hour.)

We took the 8:00 bus into Yerushalayim. Once in the city we trekked up to my apartment, I organized myself and got out a new notebook and pens for my class, then Sammy left to go to school.

Shosh and I walked over to the school building and got settled in our classroom. Today was the first day of 'Holistic Massage' class. It seems that, the class will be taught in Hebrew (though there will be a translator available as a teacher's assistant.) Unbelievably enough, I managed to understand everything that was going on, and I managed to take notes even! (notice the Israeli grammar mistake... yes, it is intentional. I picked it up from the Dibble.) I bought my 'base oil' (an almond oil) and an essential oil (lavender) and now just have to get the 'folding bed' (which is going to be annoyingly expensive.)

The class was let out at 12:30 rather than the anticipated 1:30 dismissal, so I headed back to the apartment much earlier than expected. I quickly packed up all of my important stuff (dirty clothes, teddy bear and computer) and then ate a quick lunch. Then Shosh and I headed to tachana merkazit, to visit 'Super-Farm' in order to find a 'little bottle' for our oils for class.

I made the 14:10 number 416 bus, back to Bet Shemesh and was home at about 15:00. I spent the afternoon lounging around and updating my blog as well as catching up on the news and all of my friends blogs.

Dinner was fun (quiet since Eli isn't here) then Dibble and Moonbeam had to take baths. I learned something very interesting, if at the end of a regular day you take a little Israeli kid and throw him into a bathtub full of water and make lots of foam with soap and/or shampoo - then if you can get the kid to stop moving, and you look at the foam carefully, you will notice a brown layer of dirt and gunk in the top layer of the suds. (Honestly quite disgusting, but hey, it's what I learned.)

Sammy helped Brenda do research for a science essay about a scienttist (I convinced her to do Louis Pasteur.) The Dibble and Moonbeam watched El Dorado (we all sang the song together.) Mommy and Daddy entertained some night-time guests and neighbors (with questions...) and I lounged some more (I also looked through cookbooks in a vain attempt to find yummy recipies for desserts to make in honor of Brenda's Bat-Mitzvah.

I think I will make a chocolate layer cake and lots of other yummy cakes and cookies.

For now though, I think I will head to bed -

"El Dorado - El Dorado - El Dow rah ah ah doh..."

Sunday, September 04, 2005

A Day of Spur of the Moments…

I left off yesterday with me lying in my bed and staring at the walls. I persisted in this activity until 9:00 when Menucha called me from the States. She needed a friend to listen to her and I am extremely thankful that she called because I also needed a friendly ear. She reminded me of the true meaning and importance of having friends. I am eternally grateful for it.

After sobbing over the phone to her for a while, I got out of bed and got dressed. Then I bugged Shosh for a while, and at around 10:20ish we headed out to start our errands. First stop was at Shelem (school) in order to finally get the ‘paying thing’ in order. It took us close to an hour to figure out the total sum owed and then hand the lady my card. Sad, really. As we concluded the transaction I took out my Bet Shemesh bus schedule and stared at it longingly. Suddenly I had a brilliant flash of inspiration, I decided to ditch all of my carefully thought out plans for the day and go Home.

From the moment that I decided to go Home until I was on the road took about 8 minutes (closer to seven, but I’ve decided to round up.) First step was calling Daddy to find out what time they planned on leaving for Kedumim. Why were they going to Kedumim? Simple, Eli needed to get driven up to school and dropped off with all of his stuff. So, Daddy told me that if I made the bus in four minutes that I would be home in just the nick of time. As he explained this, I was busy pounding the pavement towards the trampiadah. As I reached the last street corner that I needed to cross the 415 bus pulled out of tachana merkazit. (Talk about feeling one’s heart and hopes falling to the floor…) I stood on the corner and stretched out my arms in a futile attempt to stop the bus. It drove off nonetheless. I quickly turned an headed up towards The Holy Bagel from where I could catch a sheirut. I called Daddy to keep him posted of my activities and ran for it. Convinced that the sheirut would be empty and that I would never make it Home in time I approached the van. I asked “you going to Bet Shemesh?” and the response I got lifted my spirits, “Yes, get on.” So, I did. I was the tenth person, so as soon as I sat down we pulled out of the spot and headed towards Bet Shemesh. YAYAY!! I called Daddy once more and he told me to get off at Big and meet him there. So, I did.

Daddy was at Big (in Super-farm to be precise) trying to get all of the technical things finished in the long winded process of buying a cell-phone (or three… a new one for Mommy (her phone officially stopped working) a new one for Eli (he stepped on his) and one for Brenda (who needs one now that she travels into Yerushalayim six days a week.))

It took a VERY long time. So long in fact, that we picked Ezri up from school forty minutes late (the delay didn’t seem to affect his moon-beamy disposition.) We quickly dropped him off at Saba and Savta’s house and headed Home. We had time to eat a ‘quick snack’ and pack up the car with all of Eli’s stuff. Then we drove off to Kedumim. The drive (as usual) was absolutely beautiful. It’s not the intense green that I love, but there is still an undeniable beauty in the dramatic sand-scape of the Shomron.

At the school, we went to the office, met the principal, found Eli’s ‘dorm’ and met some of his roommates. Lol! I spent an hour walking around a boys’ high school (again…) The cool thing about the school is that it is located on a hill in the middle of a desert and the entire campus is made up of caravans. The boys eat, sleep and learn in these trailer things. I dunno, the upper-classmen didn’t look to bad off, and seemed happy to be back so I’m sure that Eli will fit in and have an amazing time. (Oh, to be able to return to my high-school days.)

After leaving Eli, we drove over to Ginot to visit the Preisers. Aunt Sharon fed us and we schmoozed and had a great time. We also got to wish Shui a ‘happy early birthday’ – shout out… “HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHUI!! YOU’RE STILL MY CUTEST COUSIN!”

Finally it was time to go, so reluctantly we bade our family farewell and got back into the car for the drive Home.

At Home, Mommy put Shabbos leftovers into the oven for dinner. I was excited because I hadn’t had any of the yummy food due to the fact that I hadn’t been Home for Shabbos.

After dinner I tried to decide whether or not to return to Jerusalem for the night. I finally decided to forget about it because the only bus was at 11:00 and I was exhausted. By 10:00 I was in bed and trying to fall asleep.

With my alarm set for 7:00am I drifted off to sleep holding Stitchey tightly in a great bear hug…

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The Tale of my Shabbos… (a continuation…)

A few more hours passed more slowly than even a long fast day, and finally it was time to get ready for Shabbos. After changing my hairstyle three times and struggling into a pair of pantyhose I was ready to go. We decided to make our lives a little easier by taking a bus to Har Nof and then leaving our Cartisiot at the Segal’s so that on Motz”ash we could bus back. At the Segal’s we sat, talked and read stories to the kids, then we davened, ate the meal and had a great time. Finally at a little after eleven we started our long walk home. It was pleasant outside and the air was cool so the walk went by relatively quickly. Alas, once back in the apartment I was unable to sleep. I lay in bed for hours until by some miracle sleep overtook me for a few blessed hours. Six hours later I was already awake and the now familiar sensation of acid in my gut was already in full swing. “Why is the lamp on? Because it is Shabbos, and I couldn’t turn it off last night. If it is Shabbos, then why are you here and not at Home? Because I am staying with Shoshana and going to Har Nof for my meals and I ‘m having a great time. Oh, really – then why is your stomach in knots and do you start crying every time you think of being at Home and at the thought that you could have been Home right now? I don’t know.” That is the conversation that played over and over in my head an incalculable number of times in the three hours that I lay in bed unable to sleep on that Shabbos morning.

Finally, I got up and davened, then at 10:00 we left the apartment. I was afraid to stay any longer lest I start crying and refuse to go anywhere. We walked all the way back to Har Nof and arrived at the Lauffer’s right on time. Lunch was really nice and after the meal we decided to walk back to our apartment. For the three hours that we were in the apartment I sat in the dining room trying to read Tigana and drinking seltzer, the words on the pages blurred and all I could think about was the good chance that at the very same moment as I sat in my apartment, Avi Chai and Daddy were sitting and drinking the same thing as me, Avi Chai having Petel and Daddy drinking a cup of seltzer. Suffice it to say, I cried again.

Finally we could leave the cursed apartment and head to the Segal’s for Seudah Shlishi. A 40 minute saunter in the sun can work wonders for even the most depressed of people, and by the time we got to the Segal’s I was in high spirits once again. We ate and laughed and read some more to the kids. It was a most enjoyable experience. After Shabbos we reclaimed our Bus cards and (reluctantly) left the warm atmosphere of the Segal’s home. The bus ride back was uneventful and back in our apartment I called Mommy and spoke to her until Savta commandeered her attention, at which time I got into PJs and forced Shosh to watch ‘Ever After’ with me. After the movie, I was exhausted (you would think that in that case I would have gone straight to sleep….) well I crawled into bed, convinced that I would be asleep within seconds but as the minutes and then hours ticked by, I got annoyed. Finally at almost 2:30am I fell into an uneasy slumber. By 6:00am I was awake and there was no hope of sleeping more. I tried to pick up my book to read but my arms were too tired, I propped it up on the wall and started reading – exhausted and yet unable to sleep I lay there for three hours.

But that I think is enough for this post. For we have already reached tomorrow…

Friday, September 02, 2005

A Day of Indecision and Decisions Made…

Well, I would have left this as another one of those “Erev Shabbos + Shabbos = ?...” sort of posts, but truth be told I have decided against it because I do not know what Shabbos will bring.

I am learning that this Blog is turning out to be a very interesting conduit for my emotions and feelings. It is helping me channel the things that I am learning into a directory of memories for the future, a catalogue that I can access at will, when I feel like things will never get better again. It is also a evolving into a record that in a way tracks my progress through the rough times of transition from being a loved and adored child who can always run back into the house to get a kiss from mommy and daddy into being an adult and standing on my own two feet out in the ‘real world.’

I would not say that this process has been in the least bit fun or entertaining. I mean, it was fun until I realized what I was actually getting myself into. My childish dream of living away from Home so as to avoid helping around the house and doing those oh-so-dreaded chores was imbecilic (to say the least.) I thought (in my twisted and selfish way) that if I had somewhere else to live, away from the chaos that I call Home (and that I love) that it would set me free in some way. For the last two years I had lived away from Home in the sheltered environment of my school, stupidly I believed that this would be the same. It is however, as I have learned not in the least bit similar.

Enough about the depressing topic of youthful mistakes and painful reminiscences – this is supposed to be a post about what I did on Friday.

Well, I woke up (bright and early – because I seem to have some sort of mental block towards sleeping at all in my apartment.) The first thing I did was call Daddy and bawl on the phone. Filled with fear and unsure of what to do about Shabbos I asked him for advice. His calm reassurances of “it’s totally natural to feel this way,” “you’re having an anxiety attack, but it will be easier next time,” “sometimes if you give yourself that extra push you find yourself going farther than you ever imagined and having a great time” and “the Beis Hamikdash wasn’t built in a day” convinced me that I needed to stay in Jerusalem for Shabbos and have a good time too. After that phone conversation, I had firmly mentally prepared myself to stay for Shabbos and Shoshana and I decided that since we were bored and had nothing to do that we would spend some of our morning ‘out.’ Sorely lacking a place to sleep for Shabbos we decided to walk to Har Nof to see how long the walk would take. We made it in about 45 minutes. We got flowers and dropped them off at the Segal’s house. Then we trekked back to the apartment. All afternoon I continued to be unable to eat and my stomach went right on churning, I was also still unable to sleep. Exhausted and mentally wiped out I cried almost continually for hours. Finally at around 1:00 Sammy came to visit. She stayed for a while and told me about her first day of school. Then I walked her down to the bus stop and on the way dawn Daddy called me to see how I was doing. Predictably I started crying again as I trudged back to my apartment.

To Be Continued…

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Brenda’s first day of school – My second day of tears…

I was woken up early this morning, because Mommy and Daddy were going to drive Brenda in to Jerusalem for her ‘first day/orientation at Chorev.’ We left the house at 7:45 and dropped Avi Chai Sunshiny Dibble Kid (who has only one name which is Avi-Chai and NOT Avraham!) off for his first day of Gan-Chovah. Then we headed into the city. (Have I ever mentioned that I HATE the city? I loathe it and I despise it! There is too much noise and too many people. I can’t stand it! Oh yeah, and have I mentioned that I have sealed my fate and now am forced to spend two years in Hell (the city) for the duration of my studies?!)

We made it to Bayit Vegan by 8:40, Shoshana and I got dropped off on Rechov Nezer David while Mommy and Daddy dropped off Brenda. Then they drove up to Rechov Yosef Chachmi to meet us. Why did we get out, you might be asking yourself?! Well, you see, Shoshana left stuff in the Afikei machsan at the end of last year and so we needed to pick it up. So, when Mommy and Daddy met us, we shoved all of the stuff into the car and drove over to my new apartment. We unloaded everything in three trips and finally got it all into the apartment. While Shoshana unpacked Mommy, Daddy and I sat around the dining room table. Daddy finally agreed to call Bezek about ordering the ADSL service. They said that we could pick up the modem whenever we wanted so we walked right over to Tachana Merkazit – to the Bezek store. Well, when we got there we had to take a number, and after waiting patiently for a long while we were informed that without permission from the Ba’al Ha-kav, we could not set up internet service nor get a modem from them. (Grrrr…) So we headed back to the apartment, and stopped along the way to buy some Bourekkas and “taste-treats” (pastries) for breakfast.

Back at the apartment, Daddy explained that now we had to set up an internet ‘provider’ and said that we should call ‘Barak’. We had a long argument over who should call, and he finally said to me “Lori, you’re just being shy. Why won’t you call the nice people at Barak? They all speak English anyway! You need practice talking to these sorts of people.” Finally he gave up, so I handed him the phone and he dialed, throughout the annoying menus he pressed all of the numbers as directed until finally he was put on hold for the right department. He said “come on, please talk to them…” So I took the phone and listened to the ‘hold’ music until a lady picked up, I explained what I wanted and she said “hold on, let me transfer you…” so I held on for a few more minutes and another lady picked up, she didn’t speak English so she transferred me to yet another person. Finally, I explained what I wanted and she said “ok, sure, no problem.” Finally, it was over.

Mommy and Brenda showed up then, and we all sat down to eat some pastries. Then Daddy drove Mommy, Brenda and me into Town and he headed Home (to pick up Avi-Chai from Gan.) We wandered around in Town, first we got a BIG backpack for Eli (who, as I have explained before will be dorming this year – and needs a large knapsack to shlep all of his dirty clothes Home in.) Brenda also wanted a knew bag (because she is starting junior high.) Then we headed over to the clothing stores, because Brenda wanted to get a new outfit for her Bat-Mitzvah. She finally decided on a very pretty robin-egg-blue wrap skirt and a pretty white stretchy shirt.

Then, we headed to Yafo to grab a bus back to tachana merkazit. A 21 pulled up so we got on. We got off at the T.M. and Mommy and Brenda headed inside to take a bus Home while I trudged on towards the apartment.

I arrived at the building as quickly as I could and I managed to restrain my tears until I was in my apartment. Once inside, the flood-gates opened wide and now four and a half hours later I am still crying. I still don’t understand why. It is puzzling to me, and yet I understand it perfectly.

I spent the summer at Home. I might have been bored, but it is my Home where my family is and where I know that there are people who love me. For some reason everything at Home is always better. There can be no place like it. (In fact, that is why it is so special. Every person feels that there Home is the best. Everyone is the most comfortable in that surrounding area of love and tranquility. Even if there is turbulence in the Home – they still know that there is an underlying current of unbreakable love.) Now, I am ‘stranded’ in Jerusalem, far away from my house and yet not far at all. To get there is easy but still it requires effort. I would much rather suffer boredom and mind-numbing nothingness in my house than anywhere else. I am doing exactly the same thing in my apartment that I would be doing at Home and yet, it seems so much harder in the apartment because it is NOT Home!

I know that this is just a phase and that once school starts and I have established a routine that it will be better, yet until then I cannot bring myself to accept the fact that I can no longer sleep in my bed every night, see Sammy, play with Avi, yell at Eli and Ezri and annoy Brenda. I can’t bear the thought that I can’t hop out of bed and wander downstairs in my pajamas to see Mommy smiling in the kitchen or outside playing with the cats, or go down to Daddy’s office and watch him surf the net or organize old receipts. I even miss the cats. And trust me, I can’t stand the cats, all they do is meow annoyingly, play with cockroaches and carry fleas, but I would love to be able to curl up on the big comfy sofa with Doosty on my lap, or sit on the mirpeset and watch Phudgy play.

All in all, I cannot deal with this being away from Home thing. I can’t stand being on my own again. I hate to be alone. I always have. And now, even though I have an amazing apartment-mate who is an amazing and unbelievable friend I can’t endure the thought of staying here. It is so far from everything that I love and everything that I want.

I want to go Home.