Friday, October 21, 2005

I Hate Cats.

I was inspired this morning to somehow express my feelings about the cats.
I am under the distinct impression that my house is over-run with these annoying beasts.

Allow me to expound –

- There are currently 7 indoor cats (who are NOT under any circumstances allowed to leave the house.)
- There are 2 cats on the front porch (who are NOT under any circumstances allowed to enter the house.)
- Then there are the ‘back porch cats’ – these include; Phudge, Dixie-‘puppy’/cup, Jay-Jay, Higgins, Midnight (when she’s not off getting pregnant or in the Buckman’s yard), Firebolt (sometimes), Midnight’s new kittens – who ‘we are not under any circumstances feeding’ (“awwwww…” - how deplorable…) and Sam Green (who is supposed to be next door but isn’t.)
- Also last but certainly not least – let’s not forget ‘Tarpit’ who is currently on the mend after intensive surgery in which she had to have 2 rods put into her back paw after an accident on Ben Ze’ev that left her with a shattered femur bone and internal hemorrhaging. She is recuperating in our bathroom in the basement. (Does that mean that we really have 8 cats in the house?)

And so, with no further ado I present to you a poem of my own creation:

Smitten with Kittens

My mother is smitten with kittens
She likes them, she likes them I say.

My mother is smitten with kittens
I wish that they’d all go away.

My mother is smitten with kittens
They are driving me out of my mind.

My mother is smitten with kittens
I know that this may seem unkind.

But…

I’d hate to be smitten with kittens
All they do is make messes and creep.

I’d hate to be smitten with kittens
All they do is meow, scratch and sleep.

I’d hate to be smitten with kittens
They’re an awful, annoying breed

Would you hate to be smitten with kittens?
And what did you think of my screed?


*screed - A long monotonous speech or piece of writing.
*monotonous -tediously repetitious or lacking in variety

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I didn't think it was monotonous. It's quite good actually.

But I don't share your feelings about cats. I probabbly would if I had that many of them around me, though.