Saturday, December 31, 2005

Shabbos + Rosh Chodesh + Channukah

Okay, so the parsha was more exciting and confusing to follow than my Shabbos.

Friday night involved - shul, meal, walk to Aviv, walk Home, sit at the Feldman's for an hour and shmooze, read some of the new book (Foxmask - Juliet Marillier) and sleep.

Shabbos Day - Daddy woke me for shul, I got to shul FIRST (there was nobody else there and the door was still locked...) Davening, a kiddush at shul, lunch, sleep, havdalah, lighting Menorah (it is the 7th night) and now I am sitting and waiting.

I am waiting for the schedule to be decided on. I can't remember whether or not I have class tomommow, but I don't really want to go back to my apartment yet (sorry Shosh - nothing personal, it's just that I am having a really good time 'chilling' with my Grandfather. We just presented him with the Pocket Edition of Ethics from Sinai -'Pirkei Avot' and now we are having some deep religious 'Tuyrruh' discussions.)

Either Daddy will drive me back to Jerusalem tonight and I will go back to my apartment OR I will accompany Daddy and Grandpa into Jerusalem and go to the Kotel with them then return Home and go back into Jeru tomorrow morning by bus...

WAH! Things are so annoying. I want friends nearby! I miss Seminary! I miss being involved in learning and always feeling like I was growing.

I am stagnating.

I guess I'm still lucky though - At least I'm not in America.

Friday, December 30, 2005


So, the story goes like this. Due to technical issues, there will not be pictures to illustrate the final stages of my skirt-making-adventure.

I slept for 3 hours last night - I got out of bed early this morning and got straight to work on the skirt. Mommy wound up helping me out with a tricky/sticky part (something about 4 seperate pieces all needing to be attached on the waistband and the material was slippery and...)

By 10:00 the whole family (besides for Sammy and myself) were on a bus to Chevron - to celebrate Sara Preiser's Bat-Mitzvah a third or is it seventh time? Sammy and I listened to the new Loreena McKennitt CD (really her first one but new for us so...) We shmoozed and baked Amaretto cakes for Raizi then we got all dressed up and waited for the call telling us that the parental units would be Home soon.

Somehow (by some inexplicable trick of fate which some may call a miracle) we made it to Jerusalem and arrived at the hall in time to see the last 1/3 of the chuppah. No comments shall be published about how I felt at the affair. (If you want more info feel free to e-mail me and I shall divulge my 'feelings' with you...) I can safely sum up the experience by describing to you one portion of my evening which involved me being seated between Tzvi and Matan (who were being themselves - aka: worse than Ezri and Avi on a BAD day.) While staring imploringly across the table at Sammy who was quite content to allow me to remain in this uncomfortable predicament.

Yeah - I did dance. I was OVER-dressed (though the comfy white sweatshirt did improve the situation by dressing the outfit down.) The skirt was just tooooo darned nice. It shimmered and glided - unfortunately, due to some technical errors in sewing and the like it was also a bit toooooo long.

No, I don't have a picture of me all dressed up. I shall try to get my hands on one (bli neder...) Though why anyone would want to see that is a mystery to me - I mean, I try to stay away from mirrors... well, after last time... Never mind.

Anywho - back at Home now. Comfy in my PJs and in my bed. I spent the car-ride Home holding up a box of 120 or so Gladiolas so my arm is slightly numb and I smell like a flower...

Rant of the Night: I can't deal with this. Three friends married in the last two weeks and two friends engaged. What next? (Oh yeah, before I forget - Shut-up Tzvi.)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Makings of a Skirt... (Part 1)

Skirt making is a generally unappreciated pastime. I mean, it used to be make fabric-make clothes-wear clothes. Then seamstresses or slaves or servants and nowadays most people just go out and shop. Basically - clothing today has no personality or originality. For this reason I started making my own skirts. Also, sewing my own skirts gives me the opportunity to have my clothes the way I like them. I can make them longer - I can alter them - whatever I want goes.

Today's project is that of the pink shimmery skirt that I will iy"H be wearing to my friend's wedding at 19:00 tonight...

(I am aiming for my usual - easy and comfortable yet elegant style wrap-skirt. Simplest project of all.)

First things first. Find the material (Note the cat. He becomes a nuisance at a later point in this broadcast...) Stage two - find a clean place to work. (Unfortunately my house is lacking in floorspace and even were there floorspace I would be hesitant to put my material on the floor... So, as you can see - I am going to 'make-do' and work on the too-small dining room table.) Spread out the fabric.
Step three, pin here and pin there. Pin the pattern to the fabric. But take care, don't pin yourself...
Next - CUTTING. First I would advise you to shake out the thing you just pinned and take a good look at it. If it's not pinned correctly and you just start cutting... Yeah, it could end up as a pretty sticky situation. So, shake and then if you are certain that everything is flat and lined up - cut, cut, cut...
Penultimate for now - cut out the 'waist band' and the 'strings' (or just the strings if you are too tired to do the waistband...) The last step for now is the 'preliminary secondary pinning' - (for this project I will need to double-fold ALL hems and edges in order to prevent fraying and to keep everything neat looking.) So, I need to pin both sides from waist to floor and the bottom hem as well.
It's looking good so far, dontcha think?
More later... (When I wake up) at which point we will go and meet the Sewing Machine.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

4th night: Eat S-Mack-A-Bee(s)

Deborah left this morning. Thank you for coming and we miss you already!!!

Work was loooooong. Today I organized the 4 stacks of papers that I was given to organize. 530 pages worth of information are now sitting neatly organized and stapled on my boss's (I never remember how apostrophes work on words that end in 's') chair.

I met THE TnuvaUSA guy. Or one of them anyway. He is in Israel and came in to the office to meet with my boss.

I left work an hour early and still managed to miss the bus. Oh well. I'm sure there was SOME reason or another. I shall have to confer with The Big Guy Upstairs - Right Boss? Right.

Made it Home without too much trouble. (it took over an hour.)

Ate, Saw Saba and Savta and Grandpa is visiting too - so I got to see him (VERY exciting. It has been QUITE a while since I saw him last - so it was really nice to shmooze - even if it was quick. We still have Shabbos.)

For now I need to go and make my skirt for tomorrow night.

The material is pink and shimmery. It is light-weight and should fall very nicely.

Wish me luck.

(I guess the appropriate phrase would be something like:)

"Break a Needle..."

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Kumquats. Where Did All of the Potato Chips Go???

So this morning dawned bright and COLD.


Why do we pay an inordinate amount of money for heating if they only turn it on in the building for two hours every NIGHT? Anybody? Any ideas?

Anywho - There was NOT hot water (and the dud didn't work.) I was going to pin and cut the material for my purple skirt but realized that both the "pattern pieces" and the fabric were both creased a ridiculous amount - so I abandoned the project.

It was so cold in my apartment that I left for work almost an hour early. I figured that since it was so early I would walk to the office (and try to stamp feeling back into my toes on the way.)

In the office I was given THREE major projects, a sufganyah, a good 'talking to' and a paper-cut.

I didn't leave early (cause there was TOOOOO much to do.) However, I did manage to finish the Media Info project (or at least, as much of it as I could without the Head Boss there.)

I thought that my night would end here. I would go back to the apartment, light my menorah, eat dinner and relax... Instead, I got back and met Sassy, Deborah and Shosh (all dressed up) and was informed that we were going out to a L'chaim.

Miriam Madricha (Cohen) who I was in Shana alef and bet with got engaged this afternoon! Very Exciting!!! There was a L'chaim for her and we were going.

So, off we went. It was nice to go actually. Saw lots of people (I got to see Michelle and the baby! VERY VERY Exciting!!!!) and lots of people that I haven't seen in a long time.

After the party we headed back to Kiryat Moshe. I ate dinner (Mommy, guess what I ate. hehehe. Yeah, it was good. Thank you!) Polished off almost an entire bag of potato chips (with some help ;) right?) Updated my blog (that would be what you are reading now) and got presents (THANK YOU DEBORAH!!!!)

I think I'll sign off now and find something useful to do. (Not that there is much to do but I'm sure I can find something.)

Maybe I'll take out my contacts. That would be a good idea considering that they are doing that annoying 'move when you blink' thing.

Ok, that's it.

Going to peel my eyeballs.

Take care and Happy Third Night of Channuka!!!

Monday, December 26, 2005

For My Freddie -

Dear Sister,

Remember when?...

May your Squomito Bites feel better soon.



On the Second Night of Chanukah...

Well, not much has happened yet on the second night of Chanukah. I mean, I forgot about the pita in the toaster and ate half of the popcorn meant for the party but aside from that...

So, about this morning. Grandpa arrived in Israel. I didn't get out of bed until 11:00 and then I left my apartment. I was so excited to find out that I could meet up with Nuch and so I did. We walked (slowly?) towards town. We stopped in the fabric store (and Menucha patiently waited for me to choose fabric.) Then we stopped at the Notions store and picked up thread.

At that point we parted ways and I headed towards the office. On the way I decided to stop in the 'claire'-like store and check out the earrings. I found a pair that I liked and decided to treat myself to a 'chanuka present' - yay! I have new earrings and they are sparkly.

Not much happened at work. I went down to the post office but they had closed early, got yelled at for not sending the mail, did more follow-up work on the Media 2006 project and answered MANY MANY phones.

I HATE phones!!!

Anywho - I got to leave work early (17:45.) So, I hopped on a bus and made my way to Zol Lemehadrin to pick up applesauce and crackers for the party.

Rochel is bringing Latkes and we are going to play Apples to Apples and maybe even Boggle.

We shall see...

Sunday, December 25, 2005

First Night of Chanuka...

Got out of bed at 9:10 this morning. VERY late - for me anyway.

Reflexology class. Only 6 people were there. I got yelled at for having long nails. (well, that's a first.) We are working on the 'hormones' now. It was nice the heat was on and though it was freezing outside - inside we were warm and getting 'foot massages' - I sure wasn't going to complain.

Work. Well, first order of bussiness - stage 3 of the 'Media Info' project. Then I got voted to go down to the post-office. (Yet another nightmare but not as bad as it could have been. At least I wrote out the check properly.) The boss had picked up Sufganyot because it was one of the other girl's birthdays - so I had one. By then it was almost 16:00 and my boss informed me that I could feel free to leave at 17:00 - because it was (after all) the first night of Chanuka. He said "we'll see how it goes" but that he will probably let us out early for the rest of the 'holiday' too.

Back at the apartment - we set up the Menorahs and put up the soup to heat, then lit and sang and had yummy soup for dinner.

No class tomorrow and no class on Thursday either. Ahhhh, vacation.

I think that soon I will go and snuggle with Toffee and read some more of that new book.

Till tomorrow - Happy Chanukah! :)

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Let the Rain Fall Down...

Well, Friday night was very laid back.

Shul was spiritual (though the chazan did sing some pretty strange stuff...), The walk Home in the rain was uneventful (except for the puddle that I 'inadvertantly' jumped into - that was so deep that once inside I was forced to change into a third set of clothes for the day.) The meal was a typical Polly house meal - noisy. And after eating we put on our 'rain-gear' and set out on a 'walk.' We splashed through every puddle that came our way. First Sammy and Mommy were with me but Mommy got cold and went inside. Sammy and I decided to expand our horizons - so we walked up Ha'arazim and down Hadekel to Ben Zev where we crossed the street, walked on the wall and sloshed though the wet grass. (I haven't done that it years!)

I was up on time for Shul. So, I went. Davening was ok, there was a kiddush and I shmoozed with Aviva and Ora. (Yay! 2 friends in the neighborhood!) Lunch was yummy (cause Mommy made grilled chicken that was so good...) I took out my new book (Foxmask - by: Juliet Marillier. I am a fan of hers, without a doubt. She ranks high up on the list with Guy Gavriel Kay at the moment as a matter of fact.) I read 27 pages and then fell asleep on the sofa. I woke up because things seemed to have 'stopped' - the lights went out 3 times in 10 minutes. It was strange.

After Shabbos I packed up a lot of stuff (a book-shelf worth of books and more...) and dragged the bags out to the car. Meanwhile, Daddy (with some help...) got the clothes dryer into the car and the little heater and the book-case to boot. Basically, I got lots of presents. Thank you Mommy and Daddy (and Saba and Savta for the heater!!) I shall use it all!! I shall - I shall!

Daddy drove me up to the city then we took 3 trips from the car up to the apartment to get all of the stuff in.

I am currently working on the 'menu' and shopping-list for our 'channuka party' on Monday night. We are having lots of old Seminary friends over and I'm sure it is going to be nice. I just have to figure out when I'm going to do all of the shopping and cooking. I mean, massage is cancelled on Monday but I was hoping to go and get some new material for a new skirt...

Speaking of skirts, I have to say "Arg!" I have the purple material for my ball gown skirt in my apartment with me but, I don't know when I would realistically have time to sew it at Home - and worse, I don't have a zipper for it. That could be problematic.

So, we shall see what I decide to do. Worse comes to worst - I will wear what I wore to Chanale's wedding. I think that I looked nice. Maybe I will even wear the twisted pearl jewelry...

Wait, why am I thinking about Thursday? It's only Motzash and there is sooooo much to do before then.

In the future - I MUST remember to fret about things as they come up and not quite so prematurely.

Class in the morning - maybe I should unpack and go to sleep.

Sounds tempting.

Whaddaya say?

Friday, December 23, 2005

Chanale is Married. How Can That Be?!?!

I call this lazy but in a constructive way.

I can't think of anything of importance to write aside from - Shabbos is coming and so is Menucha and we're gonna have fun!!!

So, I have decided to publish a few of the pictures from our trip to Merry Ca...
This is a picture of Me and Sammy with Nancy!

Mitch and Nancy Halpert are like family to us! We've known them, well it seems like forever to me. We hope they come and visit soon!

This is a picture of Me and Sammy along with Lori Bader and Hindy.

Lori is an old friend (we have the same name and all...)

And, Hindy is more than an adopted sibling - she's like a sister.

Remember all the good times we had?
Remember when your skirt fell down in shul?
Remember how you screamed?

Come and visit us sometime soon!!!

And Last But Most Certainly Not Least...

It's the reason we went, the reason we flew, the reason we travelled, it all was for YOU!!

Chanale and Levi arrived a little late but not too late for a picture.

Ok, so I didn't do it on Shabbos - but I will do it here...

Chanale - you mean so much to me! Do you have any idea? We've been friends for a long time. I mean it's a little confusing because we were friends and then we weren't and then we were but we really were the whole darned time.

Remember all the good times we had? When we used to try to convince my father to let you come over for a Shabbos meal - and when your Mom used to send us into Shul on Friday nights and we would sit and whisper while staring into our siddurim and looking like we were davening? How about when we were really little and we used to hide under the table in the 'kiddush room'/library (in the old house), when we were scared to go into the barn because it was 'haunted for sure' and when we used to hide in the 'spot' in the attic of Hindy and Moushkie's room. When the 'teenagers' lived to torment us and when the new house was finally built. When you went away for school and we lost touch but were always able to pick up right where we had left off when you came back. When we went to Seminary and got even closer than ever before?

Mazal Tov Chanale! I don't know how to begin to express my joy at being at your wedding and seeing you glow with such intense happiness.

May you and Levi build a Bayit Ne'eman B'Yisrael. I have no doubt that you will - you are such an unbelievably wonderful, friendly, caring and special person.

I love you Sis!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Rob the Imp?

Anatomy class was fascinating. We're discussing the 'senses' - (or the organs that sense anyway.) We finished up the last sense today, hearing. Then we stared the 'bloooooood' and all the things that make up blood. It's so cool. And I made friends with Yosef Chaim, we're tight now. He colored with my markers. And he mixed them up too, cause it seems they look cooler like that.

The bus-ride Home was uneventful. No pancakes and no one to talk to so I listened to Switchfoot and knitted.

At Home Mommy had made lunch for me. REAL macaroni and cheese! My All-Time FAVORITEST! I even took my meds. beforehand so - I was able to enjoy it to my hearts content (without too much guilt anyway...)

There wasn't much of anything to do at Home. I could have started cutting out the material for my purple ball-gown skirt (the one I was supposed to be making for Avigdor's wedding - which is next week...)

Anyway, Mommy and Daddy went out to Kedumim for Parent-Teacher Conferences at Eli's school. I was left with the all important responsibility of baking two cakes. One for shabbos and one for Ezri's school party. Well, I (Sammy) mixed up the batter and stuck it in the oven. Unfortunately, Avi Chai Dibble Child has been trained to turn off the oven timer when it beeps. So, I totally forgot about the cake and the timer was turned off - and well, it was SUPPOSED to be a yellow cake but it could probably pass for a dark chocolate cake around about now...

So, I started making a second cake. To sum up the experience... the juice from the orange that I was juicing is now staining the front of my brand new white Old Navy shirt, Between each egg that I cracked the phone rang again (4 eggs...), the plastic bag that the flour is in sprung a leak and to top it all off - when I tried to 'marbelize' the colorful sprinkles - all the color ran!

Anywho - now the cake is in the oven and I should really try to find the kitchen before Mommy gets Home and has a fit.

But first, a relatively funny story...

We got a new little fridge for the basement. The box has become Avi Chai's 'play-house' after a fashion. The kid really engineered it well though. He took off the flaps on one end (so he could walk around with his 'house' literally on his back) and on the other end - he left the flaps so that he would have a 'roof' over his house. Anyway, he was getting a little wild so we told him to go into his box to calm down (yeah, BIG mistake...) So I figured ok, I'll turn the box upside down and REALLY lock him in. So I turned it over and told him to get in. He complied without a word and had this smirky-dibblish grin on his face. I stood the box up and was sure that I had 'got him' - and suddenly from behind me I hear the little Dibble say...

"Were you trying to lock me in my box?" Followed by hysterical laughter.

I walked around the the other side of the carton and realized that the kid had cut an 'emergency exit' flap down at the 'other end' - for just in case some fool (namely me) ever tried to lock him in his own box.

Alas, the Dibble runs free and I cower behind my computer screen. Though I fear I shall have to venture out and somehow excavate down through the layers to uncover the kitchen counters.

Speaking of the kitchen -


MY CAKE!!!!!...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


I'm not really sure what time it is. I mean, I have looked at my watch and see the sun coming up but things just aren't 'falling into place' for my biological clock.

I am so sleepy. Oysh! This is going to be bad.

I need to pack up and head up to Yerushalayim. Sadly though, my mathematically challenged brain is too tired to do the math and figure out which would be the ideal bus to take into the city. I don't want to be there too early and I don't want to get in too late.

Plus, I have work. 5 hours of answering phones and taking notes and trying to stay awake. Oh my. This is going to be fun.

Seeing as I am going in for just one night - and Deborah is here (so I'm going to be shmoozing and catching up with her...) I have decided to shove everything into my smaller backpack and if it doesn't fit then it's not coming. Sadly, I regret to inform you that it doesn't look like there will be room for my computer. So, I decided to blog this morning (since I don't know whether to be sleeping or awake...) and I will be back tomorrow night - when I am back Home for the Holy day of Shabbos.

Sounds good. Right? I hope so, my mind isn't processing things too well right about now.

I think I'll go battle with the bus schedule.

Wish me luck...

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Poppy Chocky Wocky DooDah...

I'm Home! Yay! 4 reeeaaallllyyyy loooooonnnngggg days.

Daddy told me to do a 'summary' version - (for your own goods.)

So, hold on - here goes...

We left on Thursday morning. The flight was uneventful. The three of us sat in a row and had a good time. We landed and it was 'night-time' so we picked up our rental car and drove into Manhattan to Dougies to meet up with Aunt Sabrina, Lisa and Robin AND Hinda and Chava!! (I SAW THEM!! I REALLY DID!! Granted it was quick but I saw them!! YAY!!!) After dinner we headed south towards Saba and Savta's house. When we got there we unloaded the car and took everything inside. The house is empty. I mean, there are three chairs in the kitchen and four beds in the house but that is basically it. We made up the beds and went to sleep.

Friday morning we had an early start. We went doooown to Lakewood and had Bagel Nosh Bagels and donuts and some of us even had Ice Cream. Then we went to Gelbsteins to pick up pie for our 'motza"sh melava malka' and I got a black and white cookie! The we drove north on rt. 9 and did the general 'route 9 route' (the rag shop, 'the mall' and Barnes and Noble.) We then went back to the house and got ready for Shabbos. 15 minutes before candle-lighting we drove over to Chabad to drop off the 'presents' and to surprise everybody. (It worked beautifully.) Then with five minutes till Shabbos we drove over to the Halpert's. Dinner was wonderful, it was really nice to spend time with Mitch and Nancy! (And Sammy got to serve the wine...) The walk back to the house was cold, frigid and uneventful. (Aside from my leg muscles freezing over and refusing to move.)

Shabbos Day we went to Shul (which starts at 9:30.) There was a kiddush and then the men left for the Halperts and the women headed upstairs for the Seudat Shabbat. Tova made us speak, I shmoozed with Chanale and it was really nice. Then other people showed up for the Shabbat Kallah and before we knew it Shabbat was over. After havdalah we headed over to the Danzigers. We ordered Levy's and I entertained Josh by trying to convince him that nobody carries pocket-knives in Israel, that milk in bags is cool and that setting slugs on fire is a fun experiment.

Sunday morning we went to Target. I got a pocket-knife and the game Boggle. I also got four sweatshirts. Then we went back to the house to 'get ready' - hair, make-up, pretty clothes and dressy shoes. We left right on time but miscalculated the 'timing' so we arrived a little late. Then we drove to the chuppah at 770 and afterwards we drove back to the hall for the PARTY!! Chanale looked gorgeous, there were something like 700 people, dancing was insane, and I even got a really great Bracha. After the wedding we got back into the car and drove back down to Manalapan.

Monday morning dawned dreary and gray. But we got up and did laundry then headed out to Circuit city, the bank, Staples and Best Buy. After frantic shopping we dropped the stuff off at the house and headed North to Elizabeth. We stopped in at Bruriah (where I was unrecognized - except by Rabbi O) but, Sammy got to see her friends. The we went over the the pizza place where we ingested copious amounts of pizza, onion rings and spicy fries. We quickly drove back to Manalapan and cleaned up the house then we loaded up the car and drove over to 'Sons of Israel' to see Chanale in her Shaitel. Unfortunately, we had a plane to catch and they got there a little late - so it was very quick, but we got to say hi, see and say g'bye.

Then we headed out to Newark Airport (which is now called something else with Liberty in it). Returned the rental car, got on the 'monoraily' thing and 'checked in' - interactively no less. Then we headed to the gate and waited to board. Our seats were messed up so we each sat in the middle of a row between random people. Thankfully they were nice people. I spent the flight sleeping and knitting. I was so frum - I didn't even watch the movies (truthfully, there was nothing good on...)

Mommy picked us up and we drove Home. The surprise we got was a 'neighborhood-wide' power outage. The entie Giva'h was out. So as we drove onto the street we were greeted by people and flashlights. Shani came over to say hi and we handed out 'presents' to everybody.

I need to go and unpack my suitcases and then re-pack my stuff for tomorrow. In the morning I need to head up to Jerusalem. There is stuff to drop off in my apartment, Deborah to see and 'Work' - I have the 'name-badges' for the seminar. My boss is going to be soooo happy.

I hope I don't fall asleep 'on the job' - but I am sure to be oyshka-jetlagged especially since I hadn't caught up with American time and now am back in yet another time-zone.

Nonetheless it's good to be Home...

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Loyal Readers...

Here's the scoop.

I have decided to deal with my broken computer in the same way that I have dealt with my inablility to breathe. I am going to just 'take it as it comes' and roll with the punches.

I mean - who needs their 3-e-d & c keys to work regularly? Seriously.

I don't want to take a chance of having my computer stranded in America until G-d alone knows when. So, I am NOT taking it with me.

My bags are packed (aside form my teddy-bears.) I am ready to go. I even have my winter-coat, scarf and gloves.

I will try to 'beg' some internet time from my cousins on Motz"ash - so I will try to post then.

If I don't manage that, then you will iy"H be hearing from me next on Tuesday night Israel time.

I'll miss you, I'll miss my computer and I'll miss the Holy Land.

Love ya all!

and for now L'hitraot...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Pissed as H-E-Double-Hockey Sticks - but better thanks to Menuch...

Hi y'all.

So, today went pretty well up until the beginning of the end. Lemme' 'splain.

So, I woke up early and finished the book I've been reading. Then I got out of bed and made breakfast for me and Shosh. We had 'the works' - hashbrowns and 'hot chocolate' (we had hot chocolate?) My laundry was dry, miraculously and I posted to my blog too.

Shosh and I decided to go to the 'big sale' at Center One. We didn't find anything fun to wear but we managed to waste time and have a real 'Israeli' experience.

I walked to work. I got there early. It was a 'meeting day' - which basically means that no calls can be put through to any of the bosses and that many messages must be taken and relayed to bosses. Of course the fact that three of the computers, the VOIP line, the database and the 'server' didn't help. Also, EVERY single employee decided to come in today, so we didn't even have the option of spreading out and it was impossible to do any of the 'all-important' filing because it was impossible to access the carousel of binders.

Finally people started leaving and the office 'quieted down' (if you ignored the phones ringing off the hook. All 6 lines, all at once.) Anywho - the thing that really ruined my day was at 18:30 when my boss gave me a proposal to re-type. I was doing okay until 19:00 when he told me to re-type it with more corrections. Annoyed that it still wasn't 'right' he asked me to correct it yet again and then it was 19:10 and there I was still trying to fix the stupid proposal.

So, I finished it and gave it to my boss. He found yet another error and asked me to correct it. At that point I was fed up (to say the least) so I informed himi as professionally as possible, that I NEEDED to leave in order to make my TWO busses.

So, I RAN out of the office - RAN out of the buiding (almost knocking over the security guard and his obnoxious friend) - RAN to the bus stop and still missed the bus. Another bus pulled up a few minutes later. I made sure that it was going to TM and jumped on. As he sped off I lost my footing and almost wound up getting flung out of the front window. Then the freaky orange haired ticket checker (there are only 2 ticket checkers in the ENTIRE country. I am convinced.) got on and demanded to see my ticket. I got it out and showed it to him as the bus 'stopped-short' and I almot wound up going out of the window yet again.

To sum up the rest of the story - I missed my 420. But, only by about 3 minutes. For that reason I missed the 'alternative healing seminar' that was scheduled for tonight.

I got on the 416 (half an hour later) and was lucky enough to have the ONLY 2 seater all to myself - but only until Tzomet Shimshon at which point a chayal and a chayelet got on the bus. The chayelet was disinclined to sit but the chayal plopped himself down next to me without any problem. He looked familiar but I don't know who he was. He got off at the same stop as me and headed up the hill - so, I headed down towards Ben-Zev.

At Home they fed me soup and cold spaghetti. I also took the liberty of eating some of Sammy's cookie dough.

Tonight I need to do laundry, wash my feet, pack and get ready to go to Merry-Cah.

I leave in under 12 hours.

Time is getting short.

I must prepare.

Let's drink!

:) - Fatser you silly monkey!

Morning, Already?! But How?

So, I hope this isn't considered stealing 'copywrited' stuff... Or anything else illegal like that.

I give full credit to Bill Watterson - the creator/inventor of Calvin and his hyper-active stuffed animal Hobbes.

Today's strip struck me as 'too true to life' for me.

I always feel like Calvin.

But, as my father explained to me - We are really ALL Calvin.

I feel that some people just aren't - but most of us are. And some more than others.

Under 24 hours to go.

Oh my...

For More Calvin and Hobbes - check out:

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

So Sas, About That Cousin of Yours...

I am getting extremely sick of this question. so I have decided to just get it down in Black and White letters for everybody...

What exactly AM I looking for in a pancake?

Well, the usual. The basics - flour, sugar, milk, eggs. You know - a 'solid' general grounded basis. Of course, I don't mind exoctic flavorings like some Vanilla Extract for example. Chocolate chips and sprinkles are great for fun and add color and variety. A layer of sweet 'honest-to-goodness' maple syrup on top. And that just about sums it up.

Anywho - I got a late start today. Well, seeing as it is a Tuesday and I don't have class - I figured it was okay to laze around a bit this morning and read. So, I did.

I actually walked to work this morning, though it took me almost 40 minutes.

The office was crazy. Between dealines, phones-ringing, dictations, phone-calls to be made, projects to follow up on, computers breaking, e-mails not coming in or going out and faxes neither sending or being received we were pretty busy.

When I got back to the apartment there was a visitor waiting for me. Sassy stopped by to say g'bye and wish me a n'siah tovah - (cause I won't see her for two whole weeks :( and I'm gonna miss her!)

I was 'in the mood' so I heated up a 'chicken soup'. I threw in some noodles too and the new kind of 'crunchies' (they are shaped like little fishies.)

I am now attempting to eat my soup and am doing a good job of burning my poor little taste-buds to death.

Yes, as usual I need to wash my feet. The rest of tonight's schedule is yet to be decided. I will probably knit a bit (hehe, that rhymes), and then read some more of my book. I'm almost finished with it.

I shall do the calculations once again (and check them for good measure...)

Yup, just as I suspected - only 36ish hours till we go.

Double check that if you so desire.

Mommy is right, at least I can spell...


Ok - math has never been my strong point.

Sorry for scaring you Kender-kin.

As it stands now - there are about 48 hours.

It won't be 36 until tonight.



48 hours?

Monday, December 12, 2005

I'll never get across the street if I don't cross it.

Class was relatively boring. We learned a whole bunch of new stuff - but because I'm still not feeling 100% I didn't work or get worked on. I did however go to work after class. The office was hectic (today was a 'deadline day') so I didn't really sit much. I did filing and I even started follow-up work for the project I started a looong time ago. The fax machine officially hates me. I made a 'good secretary' and spoke to a ton of people on the phone and I even 'got people on the line' for my boss. The best part is I left on time. Boy, I felt accomplished.

I walked back to the apartment. Because, I figured - "I ate a sufganyah, cause the Head Boss was in the mood for them and sent someone out to pick some up. Then insisted that I have one." How could I refuse? My first one of the season and it was YUM! (It was a 'mini' so it wasn't so big and demading and exploding with jelly to the point of nauseation.) So, minimal exercise was called for.

I made 'Tabaot' for dinner and they were yummy. I actually made food. Aren't you proud of me? I ate dinner at well, it was basically dinner-time.

Now, I am going to check up everyone else's blogs and comment on their lives.

Then I will wash my feet (scrub.)

And then I will crawl into bed, get comfy under the covers, snuggle with Toffee and the little fuzzy things and forge ahead with the new book that I am reading.

Considering it was written by a 15 year old. It's pretty good.

Check it out - Eragon...

It's so good, I think I might pick it up in Merry Cah.

Speaking of which - only a little more than 36 hours till I go.

Oh my goodness.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

So many bosses - so little time...

Reflexology was nice this morning. Though, we had an 'early class' meaning that we started at 8:30. (Meaning, I had to be up and dressed by 8:15. HA!) We learned the 'Vascular' system (we did the 'cardio' part last week.)

I got worked on! YAY! Plus, it was really nice because Sage (who I worked with) is a massage therapist already so she throws in all sorts of fun massage stuff. I was basically asleep on the table - but, I needed it.

I went straight to work from school. I couldn't decide whether to walk or to bus. I hadn't walked for over a week and was feeling ok. So, I headed off but the block after TM I got so winded I couldn't breathe (not to mention I was coughing like crazy.) An 18 pulled up so I hopped on and was in front of the office with plenty of time to spare. I sauntered around the building and took all of the 'long cuts' I could find. Nevertheless, i was early. Alas, better early than late. It was a basically quiet day. I got to file the newspapers and didn't really do anything else of much importance. Not that I mind, it's nice for things to be calm every once in a while.

I left on time and decided to walk back to the apartment. I stoppped in at the shuk for the first time in almost 2 weeks and spent a whopping four shekel on veggies.

The rest of the walk went pretty quickly and now I am safely back in my apartment.

I washed my feet (because my legs were BLACK!) and am now in the process of eating dinner.

I was going to have chicken soup but was not in the mood. So as appetizer I am eating Peanut Butter Captain Crunch wif Chawklit milk (a rash act which I will most probably regret in a few hours.)

I am contemplating making up some pasta primavera.

It sounds tempting.

I just don't know if I honestly have energy to wait for the noodles to cook.


Mommy, come make supper for me, PLEASE!!! :)

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Stupid Boy!!! ARG!

Friday night was chilled. Shul was nice, Dinner was nice and after dinner was nice. I feel like I'm writing a third grade book report. Yes, the book was nice too. Anyway, after the meal Sammy and I were not in the mood to sit around so we decided to walk out to the end of Shienfeld. First stop was to visit Saba and Savta (where I drank a cup of peppermint tea with three (or was it four?) ice cubes.) We shmoozed for about an hour and then headed over to R'chov Gad to see what was going on in the Sladowsky's House.

We visited with Shani, made new friends, laughed at stupid letters from some 'nut-case' or another and all around had a good time. Like i said last time we went there - I really enjoy spending time with them. They are a fun family and I like to be able to have a good time with fun people. The walk Home was uneventful. I carried the book "Eragon" that I borrowed from Shani and it was nice because the walk back is all downhill. :)

On the street we chanced upon a bunch of people, who I have vague recollections of once hanging out with. No offence meant, but I just don't have anything to do with them - it's sort of a mutual thing. They don't really want me hanging out with them (I'm a 'good-girl' - so I sort of put a damper on the party) and I though I thoroughly enjoy spending time with them - it's more from watching them than it is from actually having anything to say to them.

Shabbos day was very relaxed as well. I was up on time for Shul and made it there in time too. The world was shrouded in a thick mist. It was so eerie, but I loved it. It was like walking through a tangible veil of fog, plus the sky was 'misting' (really light and seemingly unreal rain.) So, me equipped with my overactive imagination thoroughly enjoyed the walk.

Shul was looong (due to the 20 minute speech) but lunch was nice and after the meal I moved from sofa to sofa trying to get comfy with my book. The problem with these short Shabbatot is that they go by so quickly. Ora came to visit and we laughed and shmoozed. (Next time, it is my turn to go to HER house. But, that won't be for at least 2 weeks. Nonetheless, it is very exciting.) I hate to sound like a child but it truly is nice to have a friend who understands you and your viewpoints and situation.

Tonight Mommy and Daddy are going to drive me back to Jerusalem and we will be bringing one of the 'extra' beds from Brenda's room. (Good for me and good for Brenda.)

I'm not sure what the time schedule is and when we are scheduled to be leaving.

I am also waiting for the person mentioned in the title to bring my book back. Not that I will have time to read the story that I would like to read but - maybe Wednesday night after I finish packing I will have a chance.

Random things to study; Poli-sci, Sociology and Mechanical Engineering. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with these fields. It's just that - the people who are studying them, never mind. I can't explain it. Just trust me. Things are strange. Very Strange. People are strange.

I'm going to Merry Cah in 5 days.
Oh my goodness.
I hope this cough goes away...

Friday, December 09, 2005

Mr Tickles is a poke-you-pine...

Went to Mister Zol.

Baked brownies and Almond+Chocolate chunk cookies.

'Packed' for Merry Cah.

Ate a bagel.

Ordered stuff on the internet from Old Navy and Barnes and Noble.

Shabbos is coming - I should probably get ready.

Have a good one...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Is an Alligator Greener or Longer?

Anatomy this morning. Apple pie for breakfast. Still coughing up a storm. Huge bag (the 75 liter one) to take Home my stuff and Sammy's...

Made the bus, got Home. Saw the gardener. Ate lunch. Bummed around.

Everyone got Home - contemplated starting the purple ball-gown skirt project.

Mac and Cheese + Potato soup = yummy dinner.

Listened to Sammy practice piano and played with my new I-talk (I-pod recorder thingy.)

Went upstairs to clean up the room. Sammy left for her piano lesson so I cleaned a bit, moved around the furniture a little and spent a lot of time jumping up and down on the scale.

Finally decided what to wear to the wedding next week. It has been decided that I will wear Sammy's white shirt, the pinky/bluey/purpley shimmery wrap skirt that I made and maybe even Sammy's HUGE platform heel shoes. (We'll see about the shoes.)

The room looks a little better though I really need to clean off the shelves. Aside from needing a dusting badly, they need to be re-organized. The whole shelf above the window is 'wasted space' - we have nothing there and too much else everywhere else. We should do something about that.

Room cleaning. Profound, no?

ok, not really...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Sometimes I Feel Like a Duck...

Woke up this morning and shmoozed with Sammy. We had bagels and hot chocolate for breakfast then we sat around analyzing the puffkin. She decided to be a responsible person and went to school, leaving her stuff at my place so that she could pick it up after school.

For some reason, Brenda did not have a key so Sammy found her and gave her - her key to my apartment. A few hours later I received a frantic phone call.

"Umm, Brenda didn't have a key so I gave her mine, then I took her clothes to put them in your apartment when I picked up my stuff but, I was on the way to your apartment when I realized I couldn't get into your apartment because I gave Brenda my key - so I got on the bus to go Home and now my toothbrush is locked in your apartment and Brenda's clothes for tomorrow are going Home.

Let's just sum it up as I spent twenty minutes feeding Brenda cucumbers then I walked her out to the traempiyadah and got her safely onto a 416 bus Home.

The rest of my day was equally as depressing as the story you read above.

I was sent down to the post-office again. I thought "sure, I can do this." It was a 'mailing' wich means they were sending out 255 envelopes stuffed with magazines to subscribers. So, all of these magazines were in their envelopes and grouped in bundles of 25 and in a 'bubby cart' (you know those wire carts with the wheels and the handle. yeah, one of those. Anyway - on the waydown to the post office pushing this cart that didn't really move and didn't really turn - first, I got squashed by the elevator doors and then on the way down the stairs the bubby cart collapsed and fell to pieces. Once inside the post-office I got on line and prayed that the nice lady would help me. b"H, she did but just when I had things under control, I made a HUGE mistake. I don't even know how I did it. I saw the numbers in front of me as 1815 instead of 181.50 (meaning one thousand eight hundred fifty instead of one hundred eighty one and a half shekel.) A bit of a difference no? So, I called the office in a panic and the matter was rectified but I was warned before going up that 'the BIG boss' was on the 'warpath.' I went back upstairs with much trepidation. However, upon entering room 729 I encountered 'the BIG boss'. He asked me how things were going and I was in no emotional state to smile and nod, "it's terribe, I told him. I had a disaster going to the post-office and I messed up the check and I got squashed by the elevator doors and it just wasn't any fun." I thought he was going to cry for me. He said "It's ok, did you take care of the check and send everything?" I answered in the affirmative. "Good" he said. "Then everything is alright. Are you better now?" It was amazing. I really did feel better.

Work passed by quickly and at 19:00 I hurried back to my apartment to spend some time with Brenda.

Shosh made pizza dough and we rolled it out and put sauce, peppers and cheese on it and it is now in the oven.

I think tonight I may watch the second half of 'Gone With the Wind' but it honestly depends on how tired I am and how much energy I have.

Tomorrow I go Home. I am very excited because I am really feeling quite ill and am thinking that quite possibly, I should have dialed *3833 today and made an appointment to see a Doctor.

But honeslty, what would they do? Give me Mucolit? That's what they give everyone else.

I just wish I could breathe without pain.

Hey, the pizza is ready.

Yay - dinnertme.


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I Want a Hum-did-a-fire!!!

Ok, it is official. I am sick of being sick. Today I managed to cough myself into such a frenzy that I wound up with a (CAUTION: IT IS ABOUT TO GET GORY) bloody nose. (Actually, I have had four since then and more are sure to come.) In addition, I managed to get blood on the sleeve of my sweater - which is a pain, because I happen to REALLY like the sweater (I only stole it from Sammy recently.)

I spent the morning 'cooking up a storm' in preparation for tonight - as I waited for the onions to carmelize I concoted an apple crumble in my 'hand-me'down' pie dish. It just so happens that both the soup and crumble came out superbly (the soup due to Sammy's expert seasoning abilities and the crumble due to Mommy's self-less donation of a 'pastry-cutter' to the cause.)

I bussed to and from work for the second day in a row, plenty happened but nothing worth mentioning except for one outstanding acheivement and one adventure;

Acheivement of the day - I went down to the post office by myself for the very first time with close to 40 envelopes and I managed to take care of everything, without incident or loss of life.

Adventure - allow me to keep it short. I 'made friends' with yet another one of the guys at the bagel store. Somehow, I came away with a 5bagels for 10shekel deal. So, I got breakfast for tomorrow. Why not?

Sammy came over and is sleeping over. We ate fishies in our onion soup (we pretended that the onions were shreiking eels - or at least I did.) We watched 'Little Women' - which I felt was superbly well-done. I also felt that it was quite apropos, seeing as we are sisters and well - it is interesting how each of the characters in the movie/book really represents all of us, but truthfully - in each of us a different trait is more dominant.

On the walk from the bus-stop to the apartment I found 50 shekel lying on the ground. Being that we 'learned all about hashavat aveidah' last year, I have done a full run through of my notes and have come to the conclusion that I can keep it. So, I am 50 shekel richer and I know it came straight from The Big Guy Upstairs.

What else?

Oh yeah, now I'm going to get nasty and cynical - because due to a 'heated discussion' that I just had. You know what - never mind. I need to sleep. In the morning I will regret writing what I so desperately want to and so - in the ttempt to forestall or avoid more unpleasantness than must already be suffered through I shall bid you adieu.


Monday, December 05, 2005

'Return to me Health...'

Basically, I am sick. If you haven't gotten that general idea then you can stop reading now and never bother coming back to this site again.

I decided to try to be responsible and 'adult' today. I decided to get up extra early and to go to the bank before class to deposit my 'paycheck' (which I got!) So, I went to the bank, but after 5 desperate attempts the machine still would not accept it. I followed all of the instructions - however - it informed me that my check was 'damaged or something-or-other.' So, I called Daddy to see if he had any wise-words-of-wisdom for me and let's just sum up the phone call and the incident by saying - it was another one of those - hang up on Daddy and get back to the apartment as fast as possible so that you don't cry hysterically in public and try not to stop breathing, collapse, faint or get run over on the way.

I cried for a good 15 minutes (amazingly enough, it cleared a lot of the pressure in my head. So, at least the three day migraine was eased a bit.)

I headed out to massage class. My teacher was horrified, "Lori, what is wrong? Are you alright? Can I get you some tea or some water?" (I really wish I could be more like my teacher. She is so friendly, open and sweet and willing to help.) She told me I didn't need to 'work' this week. So, I sat at the back of the classroom and looked pretty until 11:30. At which point I was informed that I could go home if I so desired. I did desire, so I left school and decided to make some detours on the way back to the apartment. First - Tachanah Merkazit to get new bus schedules. They only had BS-->Jeru so that's all I got, and then I headed down to Holy Bagel.

So, I get on line behind a sem-girl and her ‘non-girl-friend’ – they were giving the guy behind the counter a rough time. So, when he asked me what I wanted I did my best to be nice. I smiled and said "plain bagel with butter please..." (Well, he was glad to help anyone instead of them.) So while he buttered the bagel I grabbed a bottle of water and when he finished he was like 'veggies' I smiled (again) and nodded no. Anyway - I gave him 20 shekel and he was like "you dont have change do you?" I was like... sorry dude, no little money. He was like, not even chatzi shekel? So with a wicked smile I dove into my wallet and pulled out 50 agarot of all shapes and sizes. Hey, at least he smiled when I gave it to him. It made his day that much easier. Because I had succeeded in eliciting a smile from the nice guy in the bagel store - I felt prepared to tackle the bank again. So, I got my bag rifled through and went in to try the machine again. Obviously, it didn't work. But, the 'need to prove myself' ate away at my gut (or was that the acid?) - so I went in and got on a line. (I had no idea which one I needed to be on.) I talked to the lady at the desk when my turn came, ascertained that I could deposit a check through her (not literally through her - but in her official bank capacity - she could deposit the check into my account.) - I gave her the check, my T”Z and she did the rest. I signed on the lines and *poof* I have the check in its physical manifestation, no more. I did it!! Ok, well it was exciting for me.

Back in the apartment I ate my deeeelicious bagel and lazed around. I decided to bus to and from work because I have been having trouble breathing when walking across the street to TM so walking aaaaalllllll the way down Yafo seemed slightly ludicrous to me.

At work I knew what I was doing. I filed, I e-mailed, I phoned I did tons.

The last straw of my day was at 19:00. When my boss said “ok, I’m going. Finish those last three things and e-mail them to me at Home.” Ummm, you just gave me those things (not small things but BIG things) ten minutes ago!!!!!!! I’m also supposed to leave at seven. I also have a life (crazy, huh?) and things to do. Alas, I didn’t get out of the office until 19:20.

We will need to work out some other way of tracking my hours. I don’t like this estimated payment thing. It’s sketchy.

I have yet to find out how I need to go about dealing with Bituach Le-umi..

I stopped at Zol Lmehadrin on the way back and bought a bottle of Dry White Wine (and a cork-screw) and Baguettes for tomorrow morning’s Onion Soup Adventure. I hope it works. Maybe Mommy will come over in the morning and surprise me and help me put up the soup, then watch a quick movie and ‘chill’ and then…

Nah, who am I joking? She’s so busy – we have to remind her to… Wait, she’s so amazing that we don’t have to remind her to do anything!!!!

Ahhhhhhh! I will never be able to do that! (What is ‘that?’ – EVERYTHING!!!!)

I hate being grown up. I want to be two years old and eating lamb-chops and not caring that I might be ingesting Mary’s little lamb.

I am going to watch Gone with the Wind…

I need surreal to supplant my reality. By back hurts and my throat hurts and my stomach and it’s muscles hurt. I am not happy.


Sunday, December 04, 2005

'ad nauseum' and 'forever'

Woke up coughing and choking

Ingested; 2 Advils, 1 of the 'things' that the Dr. gave me, 1 of the 'other things' that the Dr. gave me, 100 mg of Vitamin C and half a liter of water (for good measure.)

Reflexology class was not up to par. Aside from the fact that we learned 'the heart' (on a level more basic than 101) I could not sit still and spent most of class coughing. Then we had a 40 minute 'break' followed by the fact that the teacher decided that today was 'catch up day' for the 'new students' - so on the day that I really really needed my immune system to be boosted and my respiratory system to be strenghtened - I didn't even get worked on! I had to work on a 'newbie' but I got nothing in return!!! (B'derech Klal, I do NOT expect to get things in 'return' - but in this class, that is how it is supposed to work. Not to mention the fact that I have forfeited my 'turn' to be worked on - on numerous occasions.)

Work was the usual. Filed (almost) all of the newspapers, Letters and the usual and entertained Feige. (Though, sadly enough - I was in the back faxing something when the UPS guy came, so I didn't get to 'liven-up' his day. Maybe tomorrow...?) Oh yeah, I think I found the 'badge holders' for the seminar, that I have spent three days searching for. I hope they're the right thing. I'll ask tomorrow.

Walked back to the apartment and almost passed out half-way.

Heated up another amazing chicken soup and ate it all. (Yes, straight out of the pot.)

Shosh practiced massage on me. It was nice, but I was really too sore to relax. (Don't worry, I enjoyed it anyway!!)

Mommy gave me the recipie fo 'Onion Soup Deluxe' and hopefully by Tuesday or Wednesday morning I will have been able to 'round up' the required ingredients. That is going to be one yummy dinner. I'm even going to get a baguette. I'm so excited. I wish I could eat cheese! WAH!

Alas, if my lot in life at the moment is not to be able to enjoy 'dairy products' - may that be my biggest nisayon.

I have 'Little Women' and 'Gone With the Wind' on DVD in my apartment. Mommy got them when she was in Merry Cah. I MUST find time to watch them. I am so excited!

For now though, I must go to sleep.

I am still 'getting-better' - (meaning, I can sit still for three mintes without coughing/barking so loudly that I scare the people in the next office and can compete with the jack-hammer two floors down where they are doing construction.)

More tomorrow as usual.

Same time - more of less... (ok, maybe not. What's a schedule?)

Same place - I don't think I'll change the URL before then...

yeah, more tomorrow - as usual...

THE Teddy Bear Rescue Mission... (Take 19871289)...

I just received this picture via e-mail and felt the overwhelming need and desire to share it...

If you don't know me - then hold on to your seat, this basically sums me up, in a nutshell.

Ok, that's not true - it sums up about 15% of me. I'm convinced that I am complex, deep and mysterious.






I'm not sad,

Just a tad mad,

Aren't you glad?

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Her Stomach is Like an Eggplant...

So, after a havoc-filled erev-shabbos - things got a little better...

Friday night - Didn't feel good but walked to Aviv. Saw Sara and Raizi (sort of...) Got Home by 23:30 and got straight into bed.

Shabbos Day - Really didn't feel well. But, I got up for shul anyway. Didn't quite make it through shul (left after Chazarat Hashat"z of Musaf.) Lunch (let's not go there.) Spent the rest of the day in bed - cuddling with the 'fuzzy little brown thing' (who is supposed to help you feel beter when you are under the weather.)

After Shabbos - Daddy drove me back to Jerusalem. I am so thankful that he did because I don't think that I physically could have gotten onto a bus considering how icky I'm feeling.

Tomorrow a new week begins. School and work and 'life' in general.

I hope I feel better soon. I hate being sick.

12 days till we go to Merry Cah...

Friday, December 02, 2005

I Knew it...

Proof that things are NOT going my way.

I started this scarf last year when we went to Poland. I figured, I needed something to do with my hands and that Ezri needed a new scarf (or rather, he wanted one.)

I was so excited. I thought I had finally 'gotten it right' and that this time, I wouldn't cut the strings and leave hard little knots at the ends.
However, as things usually go when I am involved and feel like I am doing things right - Well, I was wrong.

It seems you are supposed to 'weave in the ends' as you go along and NOT at the end. Who knew? Certainly not me.

To rectify my mistake I am now completely unraveling the scarf that I have spent many hours working on. I do this with the hope that the end resut will be better than the original.

(Have you ever felt like the physical actions that you were going through completely echoed your mental and emotional state?)

Anticipating the Worst...

Before I even begin my day, I have decided to post. I have been awake since 7:30 however, it is almost 9:00 and I have yet to leave my bedroom. I am not prepared for today, tonight or tomorrow.

Shabbos is coming and I am dreading it.

There are people that I wish I could see.
There are people that I wish I could talk to in person.
There are some people I wish I could just talk to.

I am by NO standards a 'touchy-feely' person, partially due to the fact that I am hyper-sensitive to other people's auras and energies (go ahead, think I'm crazy - but I'm telling you, they exist.) For this reason, I think I can safely assume that am in pretty bad shape when I say - I think I need a hug. However, my closest friends are far far away.

I've lost some because we have fallen out of touch, I'm losing some due to 'natural causes'.

Is this what growing up is supposed to be like?

If so, I want a refund.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Facing the Green Eyed Monster...

Well, I was in a good mood for the majority of the day - however since returning to my 'home' my mood has been reduced to rubble.

I had intended to make this a jolly sort of post - titled "Bone-y things and Meninges" or something like that, however due to the upsurge of dare I say jealousy, in my gut - I am no longer inclined to do so.

Jealous. Why am I jealous? This is a good question. I shall grace it with an unfitting answer. I say unfitting because - there is no good reason to be jealous - I mean, everyone should ideally learn to be happy with ALL of the things that they DO have.

Nonetheless. I find myself wallowing in pity and despair, bemoaning my fate -

Today I focus on the bad (not something that I generally do.)

- My computer is no longer my own. My $2000 laptop has become 'shared property' - I pretend not to mind, I have convinced myself that I do not mind however, I do mind. As a result of it being shlepped to and from my apartment on a weekly basis (due to my own neurosis) and due to it being used in what one could term 'inappropriate ways' (not handled with care) it no longer functions as well as it used to. I am not saying that this is due to the fact that it has become 'hefker' and that other people use it more than I do, it could have happened anyway - but surely the extra stress it has been under caused the deterioration to occur at a more rapid rate.
- I want to be the best me possible BUT somehow, every time I get close to achieving my goal - I realize "hey, I could be better." It is sooo stupid. Why am I doing this to myself? I could be happy with the way I am now, but I am not. Plus, it's not even like the things that I have strived to change about myself have even been noticed. I am still the same old, plain, kvetchy, whining twit that I was before I started working on myself. At least at this self-deprecating moment - that is how I feel.
- Why not me? Why everyone else but not me? Never me. I don't understand.
- Why can't people mind their own business? Why is it that everyone else's business is free to be discussed but their business is so 'drastic and different' that it cannot even be mentioned lest it be spoken about.
- I want. I want, and I cannot have. I can never have. I don't even mean 'have enough' or 'have more' I just can't have – 'full stop'.

I am feeling pathetic enough to wish that for a moment I were Raquel. At least she is all those things I wrote last week whereas I truly am none of them.

I want to be better. Really, I do.

I'm just not sure I want to go about putting in all of the effort, when I know that there is a pretty good chance that everything that I do, and that all of my hishtadlut will probably be for naught. That I will watch all of my hard work crumble around me and be unable to stop the rushing deluge.

Can you imagine how limiting that is?

It hurts…