Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Maybe I DO Read Too Much...

If you read this Blog merely as an amusing way to keep yourself updated with the goings-on of my humble and jumbled life - then tonight's entry is sure to either confound or disappoint you.

Ever have one of those days where everything is just going so normally, so on schedule, so extremely run-of-the-mill - that you never for one second imagine that something strage or out of the ordinary will happen?

Well - today was not one of those days.

Not that it was a regular day (because there is honestly no such thing) and personally, I'm always quite open-minded about the possibility of strange things happening. Just, stam.

As I've said before this is an outlet for some of my crazy ideas and sentiments to be expressed. With that fact firmly established you may read on...

Ever wonder when the day will come that you will suddenly find yourself somewhere 'impossible' - somewhere off the charts, unknown and unexplored by everything familiar to you?

Ever wonder when that warp will take place and your greatest adventure will begin - whether it be through a rabbit-hole, a wardrobe, a book or some random eclectic looking person who engages you in conversation.

Maybe your greatest adverture is trying to catch your attention but every time it tries to present itself - you turn a blind eye or are to scared to follow.

What happens if you hesitate? What if that one moment of indesicion strips from you the possiblity of great and unimaginable things ever happening?

Your story ended without so much as a glimpse into uncharted realms that most people fear to dream of.

You never know - maybe the next time a pay-phone rings on the street - you should pick it up. You never know who may be on the other end or what adventures may ensue.

And what if you walk past it - too scared to let yourself become entangled and ensnared or just not realizing what was going on - an opportunity missed - a path unexplored.

Is it true what they say?

"The biggest risk is not taking one..."

Monday, January 30, 2006

"They Make Cages in All Shapes and Sizes..."

It was soooo cold this morning that I couldn't drag myself out of bed. Me and Toffee were snuggled warmly under the quilts and the sky was gray (well, it was from the angle I was looking at it from...)

With 15 minutes to class I jumped out of bed and did a real 'seminary/high school' dressing (rememeber those days?) Long denim skirt and big over-comfy sweatshirt. Yeah, so basically looking like a wreck (which is more my style as you all know) I headed out to class.

We learned a second 'shita' for arms and Ruchama worked out all the kinks and knots in my biceps and triceps. (Granted, I didn't know they were there until she started working - but after about 2 minutes I was ready to scream in pain.)

After class I headed out to work. The office was a mess. Thankfully the head boss was sooo jetlagged that he wasn't in the mood to work on my 'project' (so explaining the 'mess' got postponed until tomorrow.) Thankfully, I received 3 e-mail responses and am hopeful that more will come in tonight.

A little before 19:00 I got a call, "wanna come to the N'shei play?"

"Ummm, sure!" I answered gleefully.

(granted the circumstances under which I was invited were not happy - but I was glad for the oppurtunity.)

Basically the play was a really cute version of "Mary Poppins" (but with a Yiddishe Twist.)

After the play we walked back to the Ranch and sat down to chill (or thaw as the case may be.)

I am compulsively ingesting large quantities of PBCC and am thinking that I should probably go Home for Shabbos so that Daddy can buy me a new box of the addictive stuff.

Oh yeah - and my Freddie must be affecting me because why else would I be craving Turkey Sandwiches at midnight?

Shosh wanted me to put some heat-rub on her sore muscle, and I (being the great friend I am...) obliged. Now however, I am realizing that even after two washings my hands still smell like the stuff.

Yum - toothpaste scented.

*sigh* Those were the days...

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Tedious Repetitions...

Well, I think I woke up at 5. Or maybe Sammy woke up at 5. I'm not sure -but the alarm-clock definitely started ringing somewhere in the vicinity of 5. If I was awake then I fell asleep again. If I was still asleep then I dreamt that I was awake and that I fell back to sleep. Suffice it to say - at 7:30 I opened my eyes and upon realizing what time it was I jumped out of bed (it really would have made R' Taub proud) and managed to be packed and ready to leave the house in just 20 minutes. Heading out the door to get to the bus-stop I grabbed a 'tremp' with some guy in a white van. Though we were delayed because his phone was ringing and he was trying (hopelessly) to get it out of his pocket. Thankfully I made my bus.

Back in Jeru I trudged up to the 'no-flying-zone' and unpacked and repacked and ate half of a box of PBCC.

Class was ridiculous. Either I had MAJOR 'shpilkas' or the class was REALLY boring. Or maybe - I couldn't sit still and class really was extremly boring. Either way, I couldn't wait to get out of there.

I headed STRAIGHT out to work. The office was quiet (which I thought would be great...) I figured I could make all those phone calls and finish cleaning up my 'mess' and that everything would be... Ummm, WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY REMIND ME THAT TODAY IS SUNDAY???? (Meaning, nobody in America is in their offices - so even if I were to call them, there would be nobody there to answer the fashtunkenah phones!!!!!!)

Due to the fact that I finished everything that I could finish by 17:00 (12 hours after the alarm-clock rang...) I was bored silly. I tried staring off into space - but space got boring. I tried playing solitaire - but I couldn't win. I tried to file - but I didn't know where the papers went. I tried to re-organize the drawers - but realized that it's pointless and hopeless.

Finally it was 19:00 and I was FREE. Somehow - I managed to leave the office, walk all the way to Zol L'mehadrin, do shopping (for our special Rosh Chodesh dinner) and get back to my apartment in about 32 minutes. I think that's pretty impressive. I even managed to do it without knocking over the old ladies who got in my way.

Tonight I MUST get sleep. My eyes are swollen with exhaustion and the sheer energy required to keep me awake is in short supply. In addition, my fingers are so cold that I can't really explain how they feel because they are totally numb.

Ever get into one of those daydreamy moods where all you can imagine is when spring will come again and you can run outside barefoot in the grass and go on picnics and spend time enjoying the warmth of the sun on your face and the scent of flowers perfumes the air. A time when it's almost impossible not to smile because everything is so good.

Pesach is coming.
*dreamy little sigh*
I can't wait...

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Shy and Outgoing - Am I an Enigma?

Well - Shabbos at Home was not as bad as I had anticipated.

Friday night I managed to return the book, take a loooong walk, temporarily stop thinking, enjoy myself, walk in both the rain and the mud and I even got to sleep (for a few hours anyway.)

Shabbos Day I woke up in time for shul (though I didn't wake Freddie), there was a kiddush at which I managed to get a cup-cake (Even though Yitzy didn't want to let me have one...), Lunch with the Buckman's wasn't bad at all (actually - it was quite enjoyable), I read (but soon fell asleep - "cutefully, with the book still open..."), Guess that means I slept too...

Today I took a further step in the attempt to solidify a friendship with somebody. I finally got up off my lazy tush and got over my pathetic stuck-up shyness and went over to her house. At first it was really strange but I decided "it's now or never" and so I went straight past 'normal' and into "Lori Mode" - Some people seem to warm up to that for some reason. I had her laughing hysterically in no time - whether it was because I was losing so badly at Rummikub or because of the ten minute lecture I gave her younger brother about the importance of naming each and every stuffed animal - suffice it to say, soon things were going really well. We decided to play cards and after finding a full deck we decided on 'Spit' (a game I have not played in QUITE a while.) Anywho, the two of us were pretty evenly matched and were having a great time but after our third game (which took a good estimated 13-15 rounds) her father came home and made havdala and shabbos was over.

I walked Home and tried to figure out what to do.

First Mommy cut my hair (I was going to go crazy and cut it till my shoulders but Mommy wouldn't do it - so only a little over 2 inches came off.) Then Brenda made calzones and our last stop of the evening was at Saba and Savta's house. I got sheets for the apartment (which is very exciting) and two 'scuzzy' snow-globes (but I love them anyway.)

I also scored some pink bags (with quite the sketchy history) and a glass container (which hopefully won't leak) for my massage oil.

Back on the ranch I tried to clean up all of my stuff from all over the house. I packed my bag and did this. I even remembered to take out my contacts.

Seeing as it's already 12:45am on Sunday and I need to make an early bus into the city (and I have school and work tomorrow) I'm thinking I REALLY need to go to sleep.

*sigh*
Class tomorrow and I didn't cut my nails.
Maybe she won't notice...

Friday, January 27, 2006

Friday at Home Again...

Well - there isn't much to say yet as the day has yet to begin. (Though I have been awake for over an hour already.)

Mommy is ticked and Daddy is being ornery and cryptic. Sammy is still asleep and Dibble is screaming for underwear.

I have an eye doctor appointment today - so, hopefully I will get new contacts and be able to see without the ridiculously annoying rimless rim of my glasses inconspicuously blurring my vision when I try to look at things out of my 'line of vision.'

I polished the candle-sticks for Shabbos. I guess at least I did something good.

My mind is in a pretzel and my thoughts are all sort of fuzzy. I've tried unsuccessfully to clear everything so that I can think however it refuses to be cleared. I couldn't even figure out the answers to the riddles. Granted, one was so 'out of the box' that I never would have thought of it - but I realized that the second one Mrs. Peikes gave us to do in ninth grade. I figured it out back then - but couldn't remember it now. *sigh* Disappointment. Mah Yesh La'asot?

I'm wondering - was it worth it? I mean, it was for me - but was it for the other party...

And my cookies flopped - should I have taken that as a sign?

I don't mean to sound ridiculous and insecure - really, I'm not.

It's just - I wonder...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

E - Exceeds Expectations...

Well, I had 2 profound thoughts to include in today's post, they were mentioned this morning in class by Dr Dror. However, class seems like forever ago and the paper I wrote them on is far away from me.

I did go to class this morning, of that I am certain. It was four hours of mind-numbing nothingness. I think we covered the immune system and all about the lymph and why exactly we need lymphatic drainage in our under-arms. I'm sure that there was more but I can't remember it too well.

I managed to catch the 13:20 back to BS so I was Home with plenty of time to spare. I made it to my nightmare appointment in RBS and even got to go to Chemdat Hateva.

I love the scenery of Bet Shemesh. Really, lush green fields and the rolling hills inspire me. I thrive on them and when I am far away the memory of them seems so alive that it is almost enough to free my mind.

I tried to bake cookies. I say tried because that is all I can do. Try. There is no way for me to control the weather and no way for me to control humidity. *sigh* yet another cookie attempt flop for the books.

The late hours of my night were spent watching an old friend named Brian (he put on quite a show) and watching riddles be solved. I even had the thrill of playing 'My Word' with somebody who presented a challenge to my 'quick?' word-building abilities. (Granted, it was a little annoying because there were a couple of wide-eyed twits hanging about - but the Dibble was asleep so at least it was quiet.)

My scarf is not going to be done for Shabbos. There is no possible way.
It's supposed to rain tomorrow night - which would be fun if I weren't actually meant to be going places. (I mean, as you know - generally when it comes to wandering in the rain my policy is 'the bigger the puddle the more kudos you deserve.')

Maybe I will get a 'reading' this shabbos. We'll see who is Home. Rudyard Kipling is on the glass table again. It was noticed once - I wonder if it will be noticed again. I wonder who will notice it.

and so the story goes -

Once upon a time...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Kadima...

Thinking, working out issues, DMCs, crying, laughing, remembering, hoping, dreaming, working...

Achieving.

Once I set my mind to a task - I can manage the unimaginable. I just wish it were easier to set my mind to tasks.

I went out with My Nuch (whom I love) this morning. We walking into town and did some shopping, went to get coffee, walked back to TM at which point Nuch got on her bus and I headed back out to work.

Work was work. As you all know - I HATE the post office. (Enough said, I think.) But the boss was nice and went easy on the work-load so that I could resolve the MediaMessMadness. (I tried - really I did. Scathing e-mails dripping with sarcasm and cynicism. I even sent them 'read receipt' so theoretically - I should know whether or not the people have read them.) Somehow I left only 10 minutes late but that didn't bother me so much today because it's the last Wednesday of the month which means that tomorrow is the last Thursday of the month which means - it's officially 'the weekend' for me (though I do have Anatomy and Physio tomorrow...)

My Kender DOES love me. (Not that I thought that she didn't. I just wasn't sure what her feelings were. But, she has made them clear as Shayla's wings to me and so I can be content.)

And a last random thought for today:

Early this afternoon on my adventures with Nuch I stumbled across a beautiful thing - as gray as the storm clouds in the sky but tinged with just the perfect hint of purpley-blue. I was entranced and enthralled. I just couldn't stop staring. But then I was caught - a shy smile and a wink were all I got but that was enough to lift my spirits.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Jaywalking and Romantic Notions...

It is so much fun to be a girl sometimes. On the other hand - sometimes it's just a pain. I mean, think of all the responsibilities - brush your hair, always look good, make-up, smile and look pretty.

Personally - brushing my hair makes it frizzy, I can't always look good because it seems impossible, I detest make-up and looking pretty is just hard for some people. The only thing that I can do is smile. Which I try to do - but sometimes my cheek muscles get tired.

I was very productive this morning - I did laundry, lounged and did nothing. Then I went to work. The walk was invigorating and the office was stuffy. It was quiet because a bunch of people aren't around this week. The funniest were my phone conversations with Udi.

Left on time and bussed home completely forgetting to pick up pitot on the way. My tongue is burnt (thanks to last night's stupidity) and so everything I eat tastes like dish-soap. Shosh dragged me next door to pay our va'ad bayit so that we don't get evicted from our apartment. Yes, Mr. Deutch still freaks me out - always has and always will. To make things even better - va'ad bayit was raised 50 shekel - so now we are paying 50 shekels more not to have heat and hot water. Isn't that just precious?

My MediaMess is resolving itself too slowly to be considered an acceptable time-frame. My scarf is not getting any longer. I still haven't finished Book 1. I Can't bring myself to be nice to Daddy on the phone. I Don't have a kender to shmooze with. I'm not happy with some of the decisions that I've made.

You know when there's a noise in the background that is so annoying that you try to block it out but it sticks with you and continues buzzing in your head and just doesn't let go or leave you alone? Yeah, I've got four of them going at once. (Not including all of my chaotic thoughts.)

I am undecided as to whether I am dreading or excited for Shabbos. On the one hand - there are exciting things to look forward to. On the other side - I'll have to be Home and sharing a room with Sammy and be in the same house as my family for the first time in three weeks.

*Sigh* - I think a Poe reading session is in order - with the music from the movie King Arthur playing softly in the background and a large number of candles flickering and casting long shadows on the walls. Now all I need to do is find somebody to read with. I'm still dreaming of pools of melted chocolate and all around sweetness - but something tells me that'll never happen. I think that I am resigned to that fact. But I can still dream.

Not to mention - my book is at Home...

Monday, January 23, 2006

Wait-Wait!! Resnap...

At least we learned something new in class today. I mean, it was so bad that I spent the first two hours knitting furiously (at least my scarf is moving along) but we made it through the entire 'arm' page. Now I know (in theory) how to massage the arms.

I walked to work because it was nice out again. Seeing as the Big Bosses are out of town it was relatively quiet. I sent flaming e-mails to a number of people at a number of newspapers, spoke to people in Prague and desperately attempted to extract information from people who are as talented at avoiding questions as I am at asking them.

I left the office on time and since it was clear-crisp and cool out I decided to walk home too. On the way I ran into the second 'random' person for the week. Sariel on R'chov Yafo - who woulda thunk?

Back at the ranch Sassy was waiting for me. We DMCed, Laughed, Giggled, Ate a little (it was a little right?) popcorn and just did what we always do.

Popcorn - it's almost better than chocolate. Actually, the best would have to be popcorn drizzled with chocolate. *sigh* yum. There's an idea for dessert for shabbos. :) The list thus far for things to bake Thursday night includes; rum n' spice cookies, chocolate chip cookies and now - chocolate covered popcorn.

Tomorrow maybe I will go on a 'shopping spree' (not that I want to) but it's either get a new skirt that fits or learn how to take darts so that I can keep wearing the one's that I have.

My Nuch is coming tomorrow night! It's gonna be crazy!

But for now - Me and Sas and Shosh!!

It's Party Time!!

(On the bright side - we have concluded - what they don't know they can't forbid.)

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Walking, Smiling and Ingesting Copious Amounts of Mike and Ikes...

Class this morning was the saddest repeat of a class that I have ever had the misfortune of sitting through. On the bright side, the heat was on HIGH so the room was warm and toasty.

Walked to work and after being informed once again that I am NOT under ANY circumstances allowed to take off any time on Pesach I filed and tried to sort out the MediaMess (which only I can sort out considering I made it in the first place.)

Left the office very on time and even stopped along the way home to do the unthinkable - I actually went into the store and bought some stuff that was desperately needed in my apartment. I deserve BIG kudos for that, ok?!

On a random note (only not - because she is her and I am me.) I ran into Malia this afternoon on King George while Shpatziring back to the office after searching for and finding the dingy and sketchifying building where the insurance agent's office is and picking up an envelope... (sounds mysterious, no?)

I regret to report that my current scarf project is not progressing at it's top estimated speed. Sadly, it never seems to get longer - understandably though, because I never seem to work on it. *sigh* I really want a new scarf. I guess that considering it is all up to me that if I want it I will have to work on it and get it done.

I spoke to me' abba earlier and he said something about coming into Jeru and chilling for a while.
I'm waiting for a call or an update or a something at any rate.
I hope he doesn't forget about me.
I'm sick of being forgotten about.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Digging My Hole a Little Deeper Each Day...

Well, Shabbat was really nice. Ate at the Novik's in Givat Shaul for both meals, learned Friday night, ate lotsa nosh (right Shosh?), played rummikub, mancala and life with Yisrael and Yonit and all around enjoyed.

When the Havdala candle fizzled out I felt the burden's of the week settle on my shoulders.

Got a call and was invited to see The Chronicles of Narnia (all expenses paid) so I went. It was good all things considered. The fairy-tale creatures were up to par, the special effects were phenomenal and Aslan reminded me of Doosty. The movie didn't ruin the book but it didn't exactly add anything to it either. This is one of those 'read' rather than 'see' things.

At the moment my head feels as though someone is trying to drill a hole through my skull with an electric screw-driver. It's quite painful.

Only four days of work this week, three days of school, two important things to do and one decision to make.

Sounds simple when it's written out like that - doesn't it?

Friday, January 20, 2006

"Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust..."

Well, it's Erev Shabbos once again. Funny to think I haven't really helped get ready for Shabbos in a few weeks. (Such a foreign concept to me and sort of sad. I really do love all of the work and preparation. It makes The day even more special.)

Anywho - today I've decided to share some of my art with you.

Granted they are nothing professional, but considering I did them on my laptop (with no external mouse) - I think they're pretty cute. It's more about the message anyway - right? And regardless all of you will look at them subjectively - and your opinion will depend on many factors like how well you know me for instance... (hey you - did I get that right? lol! See? I was paying attention.)

This one I made - mostly to amuse myself. (Ok - really it was totally for amusement value...) CLICK HERE TO SEE!!

And, this one I made when I figured out how Australia works (being on the other side of the world and all...) - CLICK HERE TOO!! :)

I was inspired to post these because I was looking through old e-mails and was deciding who I should really write to personally (because it has been a while...) and then I started thinking about all the people who I just stam haven't seen - whether because of army, conflicting schedules, work, them getting married or them just plain far away.

And so - for my little brother whom I have not spoken to in a very long while - I decided to pull out these links. I miss you and your smile, hope everything is going ok. (And thanks for introducing me to the artpad.) :)

As Rabbi Lauffer would say (as only he can say), "Have a splendiferous Shabbos, and we'll see you exhausted and hung-over, back here after Shabbos..."

To make your own art just visit http://artpad.art.com/artpad/painter/.
Try it and feel free to post the links to your own art in the comments... :)
Or e-mail the links to me. I'd love to see your creations. LoL!

Come on, I dare you. ;p

Thursday, January 19, 2006

"Sad to be Segregated by Marital Status..."

Class this morning. No comment. Suffice it to say even Dr. Dror got ticked today.

Work was work. The same usual hustle and bustle and then some. I was informed that I MAY NOT under ANY circumstances go away for Pesach. Sadly, this means that I won't be having much Chol HaMoed fun time with my family (but it's ok, I don't think they want me anyway.)

I actually got out of the office on time and grabbed the first 21 out to Bayit V'egan. I had some time to stop by and chill with Sas before heading over to the school building.

R' Taub gave a very practical and poignant shmooze (as usual.) It was about the importance of feeling other's pain and about why it is so important to be sensitive to other's feelings. (I dunno, I feel like I can understand that.)
Best of all, I DID record it (my battery lasted.)
And yes, I was lucky enough to grab a front row seat. :)

Tomorrow is Erev Shabbos once again. We're going to be staying 'at home' and eating in Givat Shaul. It's going to be really nice.

Gotta go clean the house.

Bih-saaay-dur?!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Well, Eleven Hours had Passed and Then...

Clowns? Ummm, s'cuse me... I'm a little confused.

The office was quiet(ish) which allowed me to file some more. Somebody made the intelligent observation that not a day goes by without filing.

I have an appointment (finally) so I can go and get new contacts. I am so excited!! My glasses (though comfortable) are annoying to wear when it rains. I always end up dreaming of a useful little gadget that would be like 'wind-shield-wipers' but for glasses. On second thought - it's good when it rains - at least my glasses get cleaned...

Now that the girls at the office know about my blog I guess I can start leaving them cryptic messages too. :)

For tonight all I have to say is Refuah Shleima Raizy!!! I really hope you feel better quick! (And don't leave me all alone to do all of the work for 'the boss' for too long... (How did you ever manage on your own?)

Tomorrow night - Rabbi Taub at Afikei. You know where I'll be... Front row ALL the way! I'd better get there early! :) I'm SOOOOOOO Excited!!!!!! (Can you tell?)

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

"It Costs Nothing to Talk..."

The title of this post is the motto of the company that I work for.
I strongly disagree with it.

Quick summary of events:
- Got to work 20 minutes late.
- Stuck at the office until 7:20 because of the computer guys.
- Caught a bus to Givat Shmuel.
- Watched a movie, Met new people.
- Slept for almost three hours.
- Got up and got ready for Seminar.
- Grabbed a cab to the Hilton in Tel-Aviv.
- SEMINAR!!!
- Stickered newspapers.
- Met the owners of the voices that I speak to on a daily basis.
- Had a REALLY good time.
- I even got to hear some of the speeches.

After the first half of the program we were informed that we could leave if we so desired.
It was only 14:15 so I was surprised - but I didn't mind in the least.
Before I knew it I was back in Jerusalem (you know, even though I can't stand cities - when it comes down to it - Jerusalem would have to be THE One that I could be happiest living in.)

It is 'alumnae' week at Afikei and this evening Rabbi Shuster is speaking. I don't know about what and I don't know where - but I know when...

I think me and my I-pod are gonna go for a quick trip out to Bayit Ve'gan.
Strictly for the purpose of -
Listen and Learn.

Then tonight - maybe I will sleep. It's been a while since I did that.

But first - POW WOW with Chava!!!

YAY!!!!

I am SOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!! :)

Monday, January 16, 2006

Becuase I'm Running So Late Anyway...

So far today I have:

-been late to class.
-gotten yelled at by the teacher.
-lost my watch. (that I've had for 6 years.)
-frozen. (in more ways that one.)
-upset people.
-almost gotten run over.
-sliced my finger open on something or other.
-stubbed my toe (and then subsequently dropped something on it.)
-burnt my tongue.
and more...

Oh yeah and I'm going to be late for work.

*sigh.*

YES - I am taking Toffee with me to the Seminar.

Hopefully - he will keep me sane.

WELCOME HOME CHAVA!!!!

Ok, so here's the basic run-down...

I'm late for class and I'm updating this.

-class
-work
-bus
-Givat-Shmuel
-movies/parties/fun fun fun
-sleep (I hope.)

Tomorrow is Seminar.

It is almost over.

Chava - WELCOME TO OUR HUMBLE ABODE!!! I can't wait to see you!! Feel free to take care of the little guys in my room (who I had to leave all alone in order to go to Tel-Aviv! Arg!!)

No updates tonight - but get ready for tomorrow night's thrilling summary of "Conquering the World - at Seminar..."

*sigh* -Debs, whaddaya reckon? Should I bring sunglasses? It's going to be such a headache. Two-hundred and fifty people to be nice to. Two-hundred and fifty different colors. WAH!!!

Maybe I SHOULD bring the advil with me (yes you devious trouble-maker - the new bottle.) :)

p.s. - I am frustrated with anonymous comments. Just, in case you were wondering...

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Chance Encounters...

To imagine - To dream - To ponder - To wish - To want - To need.
To whisper - To speak - To shout - To scream - To yell - To cry.
To question - To comment - To discuss - To analyze - To think.
To agree - To consent - To refuse - To deny - To allow.
To imprison - To encase - To protect - To free.
To leave - To go - To come - To return.
To have - To hold - To lose.
To sleep - To awaken.
To live - To die.
To be.




What do you make of it?

To Eat and Yet Starve to Death...

And now for the latest post on my - "cutely self-indulgent" Blog.

Well, as you know - it is/was Sunday today.

I got to class late because the building I live in unofficially has no hot water again.

I walked to work - and tried (unsuccessfully) to extend a 15 minute walk into a 45 minute walk.

Last day of Seminar Prep. Met Ayala. Filed. Laughed and basically managed to amuse everybody. (Yes, even the UPS guy. He hasn't come for a while - so we made it up to him, he was laughing so hard - he was crying. Then again - maybe he was really crying...)

We got a new 'paper-stacker-organizer' thingy and each of the four AdMins - got a drawer. I put a smiley face next to my name and now I just have to sit tight until people notice and comment (which they are bound to do)...

I walked back from work too (because it was clear and COLD out.) I savored the smell of the bus fumes and the general stink of the city and finally (after walking the long way around because the municipality decided to put up fences to prevent jaywalkers (like myself) from trying to 'cut corners') I made it back to my apartment.

In the mailbox was an interesting thing. A notice from the 'Va'ad Bayit' - it gives a full run-down on expenses and what the building has been paying vs. what it needs to be paying.

I think they've raised our va'ad bayit. (We pay how much for no heat or hot water? Doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?.)

I think I shall go and discuss this with our neighbor - Mr. (frightfully freaky and somewhat scary) Deutsch.

A general announcement for all those concerned - My father does not want any more strays on our front porch. (Why do I feel like it would be okay for anyone but me?)

Alas, I hope Sassy has some GOOD news for me SOON!!! I can't bear the suspense. ;) Oh yeah, and THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!! (Don't worry it's all hush-hush... hehehe! So, if you don't know what this is about - deal with it and if it ever works out - you will know when the time comes.)

What I wouldn't give for a chance to change - "Yesterday..."

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Shabbat Parshat Vayechi - Chazak!!!

Shabbos in Arzei Habirah and Ma'alot Dafna.

I met the Wagner's (who Shosh works for), the Kurns (who have 3 adorable little girls) and MOST exciting of all - had lunch at the Mendelowitz's.

I LOVE Mrs. M. Even though I don't see her as much as I would like to - I am obsessed (not in a scary way ;) it's very natural because I mean - after all - she was one of THE best teacher's in Shana Bet!!! Not that the other teacher weren't good - she was just one of the 2 who presented challenges to my mind and she also taught in a style that really spoke to me.)

I was happy because I made it to Shul this morning - I was worried about missing Chazak - BUT, I made it.

Last night when we got back after the meal - the K's had 6 guys over. (This was exciting because it gave us a reason to go straight to sleep, and not shmooze into the wee hours of the morning with our hostess.) As I lay down I heard the guys begin to sing.

The last thing I heard were the words "Hamalach Hagoel Oti Mikol Ra..." being sung in complete harmony.

All in all - it was a wonderful Shabbos.

To my Dunce: Thank you for taking me with - I really do need to get out more... (I know, you are just going to thank me - but without you it would NOT have been possible.)

And so another week begins. This week's upcoming events include:
- Seminar
- Sleeping at Nuch
- Class Class and Class
- Finishing book 1 (which I didn't manage to do this week.)
and last but not least -
- Potentially painful decisions about my future... (see following comic strip.)
Wish me luck...

Shavua Tov!

(For more Calvin and Hobbes see: http://www.ucomics.com/calvinandhobbes/index.phtml)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Lack of Oxygen and A Rush of Blood to the Heart

I couldn't get out of bed this morning. It was just too cold. As I lay in my bed staring at the wall I started thinking. Suddenly I had a premonition and knew that today was going to take some unexpected turns.

This morning I sat through 4 hours of Dr. Dror and talking about the Heart.

It's an amazing muscle, really it is. But how is it possible for people to be so thick?

For Example:
Student: "Ummm, I don't understand - how does the blood get oxygenated?"
Teacher: "In the lungs."
Student: "But how does it get there?"
Teacher: "It gets pushed by the pressure of the heartbeat..."
Student: "So if the blood is going around anyway - why does it have to stop in the lungs?"
Teacher: "To get oxygenated."
Student: "But why does the blood need to be oxygenated?"

Does anyone else see the vicious cycle unfolding here? (Yeah, feel my pain - it was repeated a number of times.)

After class I headed to the office for three and a half hours of mind-numbing labor. Thank goodness they pay me (though seemingly not enough.) I was given 12 things to type, 4 things to do and then was sent out on an errand that ANYBODY could have been sent on - but because nobody else was willing to go out in the rain the job fell to me.

As much as I love my job, it really is a pain sometimes. You see, I'm the 2nd to youngest in the office and there are only 2 girls who aren't married. Unfortunately, the other unmarried girl is older than me and the girl who is younger than me is married so somehow - I am the one who gets to take all the blame and gets given a hard time and reprimanded when things go wrong or don't get done. (How is this fair? I don't know.)

Somehow for the second night in a row my plans fell through. I wound up leaving the office without finishing all of my work and with the tears in my eyes threatening to spill over. I missed three busses and then finally caught one to TM where I picked up two of my errant siblings and escorted them back to my apartment. Nuch was there waiting for us and my parents showed up bearing gifts (namely dinner and a show) and then left.

Now I'm sitting and contemplating again. Today certainly was an interesting day.

b"H the week is over. Tomorrow night is Shabbos and with that comes peace and tranquility. A day to enjoy and be happy - I love Shabbos. No time wasted thinking dark and brooding thoughts - just 25 hours of serenity.

I can't wait.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

A Date With My Nuch...

Warning: Today's post is an incoherent rambling collection of thougts and things:

Well - the story goes as follows...

I got a phone call this morning and concluded that I haven't gone out in quite a while so I am going on a date! I'm so excited!! Even the thunder that is booming ear-shatteringly outside the windows can't deter me or spoil my good-cheer! We're not sure what exactly is on the agenda but we're gonna have a sleep-over party and it's gonna be FUN!!

AND - The best part is - I get to spend Monday night doing it all over again!!!

I LOVE my Nuch!!

In other news: Work today was nothing worth writing about. Before I move on to a different topic please allow me to say that, I just adore it when people talk to me like I'm a two year old just because I am the youngest person working in the office. It really makes me feel special. Can't you imagine?

Shabbos is almost here and my plans are still not finalized. ARG! I really wanted to go to Mrs. Mendelowitz but Shana Bet got in the way. At least we can go to her for one meal.

Have I mentioned recently how much I HATE phones?

hmmm...

What else?

Oh yeah - I hope my Freddie forgives me. Life is no fun without Kenderkin around.

Today's Calvin and Hobbes speaks for itself:

Calvin is quite the devious little boy. Always getting into trouble...

Reminds me of somebody I know... :)

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

CONSPIRACY!!!

Ok, it's official - they really are trying to get rid of me.

What's with the new family slogan "Help us get rid of her and you will be helping us be happier..." or maybe it's more like a mystery/suspense/drama "Will we be able to coerece some nice guy to take her off of our hands?"

Well, Fiddle-dee-dee. I mean, I wish I had known about what was going on and all of the 'behind-the-scenes' efforts that were taking place (and probably still are.)

And to think - I have even been stabbed in the back by my own Freddie. Eh Tu Freddie?

As for today and the pattern I live in daily -

aside from it being a Tzom (which went really quickly and easily) everything was quiet. All the bosses left early and my boss didn't even come in - so I filed, finished sorting Media Stuff, packed the boxes for Seminar and filed some more. Somehow 5 hours were gone in a flash I was outta the office (only 10 minutes late due to a technical error having to do with wrong e-mail addresses...)

Walked back to the apartment cause it was brisk and clear outside.

I wish I were Home so I could go out to the tel and stare at the stars...

Slow Fasts and Scheduling Conflicts...

(See first frame - that's What I thought):
(See last two frames - that's The reality of the Situation):

Ack! What am I supposed to do?

My schedule is so chock full of things and my free time is in such SHORT supply.

I want to make time to do some things but The Big Guy in charge is not making it easy for me.

So far things that are going on that are time sensitive and that I need to do by the end of the month:

#1. Chava is coming and I am going to miss her arrival.
#2. I really want to free up time to go to the museum.
#3. Kedma is this Motza"sh.
#4. Sassy - we MUST get together.
#5. Nuch - at least I'll get to see you until I pass out from sheer exhaustion on your couch and then leave at 7:00 in the morning to be at Seminar on time.
#6. Seminar...
#7. Shabbos plans? hmmm...
#8. Work - Work - Work... ARG!!!
#9. Re-organize notes (the test is getting closer and I am missing notes and everything I have is out of order.)
and last but certainly not least:
#10. tentative and still under debate... (Sorry to keep you in suspense - I'll let you know #10 when it is decided.)

Till tonight - Have an easy fast everybody!!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Dairy-Air...

It was raining this morning when we left for class. Not only was it raining but it was raining hard and it was cold. Class was moderately disturbing. We thought we were going to move on to the next 'part' and that it would be the stomach. Granted, massaging somebody's stomach is a little sketchy but what we in fact learned was even more disturbing. I dunno, the teacher said that it is very important to do because that is where all of the weight of the body sits and it's a collection-center for all stress and emotional, mental and even physical anguishes BUT massaging somebody else's bum is just NOT on my top ten list. Actually, truthfully speaking - it's not really on my list. It's sort of one of those things that I don't think I ever wanted to do or ever will do again. It's just down-right wrong.

After class I headed out to work. The office was hectic (as usual) and I didn't have a computer (as usual) and my boss gave me work for which I needed a computer (as usual) and then I had to use the scary computer in the back room until I could move up to the front. I typed 2 proposals in hebrew and did lots of faxing. I didn't work on 'my' project nor did I do any filing or the re-organizing of Seminar papers (like I was supposed to do.)

Yeah, but when I left work (on-time) and had nothing left over or extra 'for tomorrow' it was nice.

On the way back to the apartment I called Daddy and Mommy, Bought Fresh lachmanyot, and Potato chips for my 'feast.'

For dinner I ate the yummy grilled chicken that I 'swiped' from Home. Obviously, I had chips with it and it was a GREAT erev-tzom meal.

No class tomorrow though I do have work. On the bright side - tomorrow night's dinner is supposedly going to be 'free' (on the boss) I wonder where we will order from...

Just a week till seminar... One week from tonight I will be on the road to Givat Shmuel (hopefully Nuch will be with me so I won't get totally lost...)

Our Shabbos plans didn't work out as planned and now I've got to go and lend some moral support to Shosh while she calls a lady from our class to ask if we can come for Shabbos...

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Spiral Nightmares and Saving the Day...

I woke up at 5:30 this morning.
I took the bus into Jerusalem this morning.
I went to class this morning.
and then...
I went to work.

The office was strangely silent. I mean, everyone was busy and doing stuff and the phones were ringing off of the hook but it all seemed VERY subdued.

I worked a little on my tri-project and then got dictations to type and things to do. I am excited to announce that I spoke to the headest-boss and to Menuch and now have plans for Erev-Seminar. YAY!

At the end of the day - my eclectic talents and imagination proved themselves once again and helped to 'save the day' - (or to save the Tnuva booklets anyway.) The 178 page, spiral bound booklets that we had bound and picked up 'Dachuf' from the shop were out of order. The first chapter was lost somewhere in the last 1/4 of the book. So, I with my nimble fingers sat down and carefully unbound, re-ordered, and then re-assembled all of the booklets. Granted this caused me to stay at the office an extra 45 minutes, and caused me to walk home in the 'pre-rain' drizzle but you know what - having my boss in my debt and the added bonus of the fact that the boss agreed to let us order dinner to break our fasts on Tuesday night made it worth my while.

Shosh made dinner (yummy veggies and rice) and I am doing a good job of eating it whilst I type this up.

Outside a storm rages - but inside the heat is on (for once, and probably not for much longer...) and it is dry (at least until I spill another cup of water on the floor.)

My 10 goals for the rest of the week are as follow:
1. Go grocery shopping.
2. Clean my room.
3. Re-figure my salary (need my boss for this one. Hmmmm...)
4. Finish sending scathing e-mails.
5. Finalize Shabbat plans for this week (remind Shosh to...)
6. Finalize Shabbat plans for next week (am I really gonna do this?)
7. Finish Book 1 (at least.)
8. Figure out what to wear to the Seminar.
9. Eat a chicken soup.
10. Sit ups. Nuff' said.

Today I felt useful and needed.

I wish I felt like that more often.

It's nice to know you make a difference and are needed and appreciated.

It's a good feeling.

You know - all warm and fuzzy inside.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

First of all, I was thinking Positive Change.

Secondly, call me selfish but I meant change for me.

Gosh Darn it!

How do I always manage to fortell bad things and why am I cursed with this burden of empathy and the inability to help?

:'(

Shabbat Parshat Vayigash

Another Shabbos.
More Memories to store away.

The Balancing act that is life is just too much to handle at times.
I'm feeling it.
At the moment - the board is already in play, pieces in motion - but they follow a course of routine and unswerving pattern. Someday soon something will come along and disrupt the balance. At least, I hope it is someday soon.

I cry out for change and yet fear it.

Am I ready?

Will I ever be?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Dear Nancy,

After four hours of Hemoglobin, Connective tissue, Bilirubin, Bile and Scabs I went to the office for my first ever Thursday afternoon 'on the job.'

The Head-est boss gave me a job to do and after completing it he scared me out of my wits by telling me that I had sent it to the wrong person (namely the Nancy mentioned in the title of this post.) I had not sent it to her though - I had sent it to the right people. He laughed at his joke and told me that he would adopt me as his new grand-daughter Lori Nancy.

I got proof today that scathing e-mails worded just right, with a sticky-sweet sucking up element get you the results that you desire. Thankfully, next week when I sit down to work on the Media Stuff Project I will actually have some of the information to pull out of the fashtunkenah orange binders.

Frizzie was a big helper today. The office was hectic and there were too many people in too small of a space and tensions were waaaaay high - then Frizzie sat down on the front desk with a pad of 'post-it-notes' and a pen and as people passed by the couldn't help but smile. Even the bosses found it amusing that he was working so hard - they were even happier to know that he was working for free.

After work Daddy, Grandpa and Eli picked me up. As a result I got to save the last punch on my inner-city cartisiyah, a punch on my BS-YM cartisiyah and I got home an hour earlier than I had expected to.

For tonight there are no plans planned and nothing much to do. Maybe I will watch a movie, maybe I will knit, maybe I will clean.

I need to contemplate my options - whilst I do I think I will ingest some french fries.

That's a good start.

Don't you agree?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Lori's Little Corner - How Can I Help You?

Woke up at 7:00 this morning and it was gray and dreary outside. I craved light and sweetness so I lit a vanilla scented candle and settled down with my book.

Like all good stories the plot was intricate and the characters ever-flowing and dynamic. The style was just right and the skill honed to a perfection of literary genius. The pages flowed and pulled me into the scene. Juliet Marillier is officially a highly recommended author in my humble opinion.

Sadly, I finished the book in five short hours and it was time to go to work.

I bussed there because as I mentioned earlier, the sky was menacing and the wind a stinging force to be reckoned with. I was not brave or fool-hardy enough to face it.

Five hours in the office flew by. So much to be done. Between Seminar rapidly approaching, a mailing to go out, dictation and typing for all three bosses and my own tri-intertwined projects there is never a dull moment or even any 'down-time.'

This week (tomorrow actually...) I will begin working the first 3 Thursdays each month from after class until 17:30. I can tell that by taking this step I am commiting myself to an even more hectic, stressed and tense life-style. In a way it is good. I need to be busy but I will now have NO free afternoons or evenings in the week. On the bright side - once a month I will be free and after Pesach (when anatomy ends) I will have a COMPLETELY free day once a month. Won't that be nice?

Hey, you know what I just realized as I stared forlornly at my calendar upon who's squares my ever-decreasing days of freedom are marked...

In 2006, June 29th is a Thursday. It also happens to be the last Thursday of the month.

That's something to look forward to... :)

L'chaim, Dropped Sitches and Found Blogs...

Yoiks! Dear earthlings and Loyal Readers - I fear Ze' Blog has been discovered by those who shun the mere existence of it and it's kind. They simply do not understand the irrational reasons that make it rational to keep one.

Today - Yes, about today...

Woke up EARLY (7:00) and got out of bed LATE (11:00) Shpatzired down Yafo to the shuk (for some Pitot) and then on to the office.

I had a 'Nightmare on Ben Yehuda Street' - (something about dropping off papers to be scanned and getting lost and being at work 20 minutes early and then losing an hour wandering around the back streets of Jerusalem.)

At the office I realized how BIG of a vicious circle I am stuck in. The three seemingly random projects that I have been working on for the last 3 months are actually all interconnected. Not only that, but there is no way to make any advances on two of them without the information from the first one. This would be okay except for the fact that the people who are supposed to be professional bussiness people are not doing their jobs and are not sending me the information that I need and as an indirect result I am holding up 60% of the activity in the office.

ARG! Of course I get the blame for all of this, because after all - it is 'MY' project.

I left the office late and walked back to the apartment.

I quickly changed into my 'party clothes' and headed out to catch a 21 to Bayit V'gan. I spent the ride shmoozing with Ariella and upon arriving at Afikei quickly headed down to the L'chaim that the girls had set-up for Miriam Madricha. Of course I got to see Sassy (I did a little jumping up and down thing and a little dance and lots of smiling...) And it was nice to see old friends. Dena (Levine) Adler was there and Mrs. Segal came too. I got to see two of the Segal girls and Alli of course. :)

After the party I made my way back to Kiryat Moshe and on the bus I encountered a mostly amusing sight. A guy (semi-pancake material but probably tooo young...) wearing an army green kippa with Tzahal written on it in both English and Hebrew - (a fact that makes the situation more nebachy than it was) - somehow or for some reason the thing was on inside-out or upside-down - however you want to phrase it. It was sad. Very sad.

Not much else to relate. I need to sleep, I need to do laundry, I need to do grocery shopping, I need to find out whether or not I am working on Thursday!

I have officially decided that there are toooo many things that I need and that I need to do.

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting installment of me as I desperately try to get in touch with newspaper people and wrap up my BIG project. Along the way will be any number of exciting and intellectually stimulating phone calls and shouting matches as well as more than a few scathing e-mails.

Don't miss it...

Monday, January 02, 2006

Mangled Paper-Clips...

Aside from resolving to be happy and positive in was basically another one of those run of the mill days.
I woke up early and went to the bank to deposit my pay-check (hehehe) the machine didn't work, BUT I didn't fret I just got on line, smiled at the nice lady, told her what I needed to do and she did the rest (aside from signing my name.)
Class (A run through of EVERYTHING that we've done.)
Bussed to work (was running late.)
Worked and worked and managed to keep on top of things (more or less) and now for my amazing story of how smiling and being positive really does make a difference... I was sent down to the post-office. I had some 50 envelopes. When it was my turn I realized that I was going to have to go and deal with the lady who I have been warned is 'the witch of the post-office' (I always try to smile at her and when I went down the first few times with the person who was showing me what to do when you go to the post-office she was down-right mean to us - but I just smiled...) So, I stepped up to the counter (smiling, of course) and started telling her the whos, whats, to wheres and how manys - I had of everything. She weighed and counted out stamps and when it was time to fill out the check she told me the number and I wrote it down then realized that the check had NOT been signed by the Boss. Hmmm, quick thinking - call the office - "bring it back and we'll sign it." Ummm, duh? So, I ask the lady (who's name is Rikki) if she would mind putting my stuff on the side whilst I run up to the office. I was almost sure she would say no but instead she said "here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to take the check and enter all of the information into the computer. Meanwhile, you are going to sit down and put all of the stamps onto the envelopes. Then you will bring the envelopes to me and I will stick them in the mail. Then you will go up and get the check signed and bring it back down to me."
WOW!! Ok, I was REALLY not expecting that. So, I did what she told me - ran up and got the check signed then ran back down and gave it to her. When I handed it to her she smiled and laughed - "wow, you really did run, didn't you?"
"You Betcha!" I nodded the affirmative as I smiled my biggest smile and headed back up towards the office.

I walked back to the apartment. Made a 'real' dinner for me and Shosh. And that's basically all there is to tell.

Sammy and Mommy butchered my denim wrap skirt today.

And in response to a comment that was left on my blog anonymously pertaining to my comment on Saturday night about being lucky for not being in America -

Well, please allow me to elaborate...

I only meant that after living in the States for 18 years and then spending 2 years in seminary and being the thinking person that I am -

I understand that as bad as my problems may seem here, at least I am in Israel. To me Israel signifies - being 'in the zone.' For me connecting on a spiritual level with myself, with others and with The Big Guy Upstairs (who happens to be in charge and orchestrates everything that goes on down here...) is SOOOOO much easier in Israel.

Though it is possible to be engrossed in the 'shmutz' of the world (by which I mean; entertainment, celebrities, movie stars lives and gossip...) in Israel - It is also A LOT easier to stay away from such pointless things and pursuits. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE spending down-time with friends watching movies and I don't think I could make it through those seemingly endless bus-rides to and from Beit-Shemesh without Nickleback and Switchfoot on my I-pod nonetheless, in Israel it is much easier to retain a focus on the things in life which really matter. (Granted, you must be open to doing so. Like I said, you can spend your time at bars, clubs, and parties and never realize all of the things that you have.)

I know for a fact that were I living in America now that my two years of growth and all of the hard work that I did on myself would have been pointless. I would be comepletely engrossed in 'life' - and if things were not going well then I would surely react to the situation in a far more negative way.

Luckily, I am NOT in America. I am in Israel. I can connect, I can work on myself and I can grow and it is easier for me than say for friends that I have in Chutz La'aretz. I can say in all honesty that I appreciate that fact and I really do believe that being in and living in Israel makes THAT much of an impact on and difference in my life.

(Of course there are plenty of other reasons that I would rather be Here than there - but those are for another time...)

I hope that the explanation is satisfactory.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Going Up?

Well, last night was one of THE most pathetic New Year's Eves I have ever experienced. I spent it playing Neopets and watching Ezri and Avi play Runescape. Then I got into bed at 11:58. (No, that doesn't mean that I slept or anything strange like that...)

This morning I woke up bright and early and was busy having some sense knocked into me (which is why I missed my bus.) Luckily, the sense was firmly entrenched and another bus came 1/2 an hour later. I had time to stop in the apartment and drop off my stuff before heading out to work.

At the office I was informed that my three day trip (that I was scared I was going to be fired for...) is considered 'vacation days' and not only that - they are PAID vacation days. LoL! Another example of me worrying too much and all for no reason.

I fininshed sending out follow-up e-mails for the Info project. I finished the pile of work left for me by my boss. I started the 'data-base' project (involving the 530 papers I organized last week.) But - the best part of the day was at 17:00 when my boss said "you can leave at a quarter to 18:00.

So, I called Daddy, left the office and made my way on foot aaaallllll the way down R'chov Yafo - to Sha'ar Yafo (where I called Daddy again.) I then headed into the Old City and to the Rova HaYehudi to meet up with the Mishpacha. We turned around and headed straight out of the Old City and to the car. We went out to Ahavat HaYam (our favorite fish restaraunt.) The place was 'hopping' but the people always seem to remember us (probably, "here's that family with the kids who think that the fish are listening when they talk to them and think the fish answer them back. Yep, regular wierdos.") and they squeezed us in.

After the meal we headed over to my apartment. Shosh was there, I lit Menorah (I can't believe it's the last night of Channukah, where did it go?) Then we yelled at Dibble and Moonbeam for driving the coffee table (which is on wheels) around the apartment and after they started playing with the doors it was decided that the time had come for them to leave.

So, they all filed out the door and headed to the elevator. I closed the door as I saw the elevator leave - but realized that the Dibble was still waiting for the elevator. Thankfully, Sammy was there and she said she'd go down with him - but he wanted to go down all alone. So, when the elevator arrived he got in and instructed Sammy to take the stairs "I'm pretending to be invisible" she explained to him. "Oh, ok. No, wait a second - aaaaaahhhh!" was the last I heard as the door closed and they descended to the Knisah level...

Class tomorrow and life resumes its 'normal' schedule.

Normal. That's a funny thing to call it.