Monday, March 27, 2006

Three Feet of Fun...

This is the second post of the day - be sure to see the one underneath this one - because that is the IMPORTANT one. This is my attempt at writing myself out of my funk/slump brought about by ungrateful people. (One chayal in particular - who shall remain nameless - because they don't realize or care anyway... P.S. - you could make this better by texting/calling/showing up - anything - TALK TO ME!! Gosh Darn It!)

I have some good news and some even better news. Pesach is coming (that is the good news). The better news is that I am cleaning for Pesach - now as we all know, Lori cleaning is funny enough - but Lori REALLY cleaning is downright hilarious. (Especially once we've pulled out the spray chemicals and shamatas - haha, shmatas - what a funny word...)

So while cleaning strange things are bound to come up - be forewarned that things won't make sense, I may sound high (which inadvertantly, I probably am) and I will not explain any of my gibberish - so don't even bother asking...

Is it really three feet of fun?
I grabbed her Butt, but, it's a cute butt...
The 'kings' are giving me a complex - though each in their own way!
Baking cookies again?
There aren't any feet in there? No way!!
Anti-calc.
Waaaaateeer!!
I want a slime thing toooooo!! I'll steal the Afikoman!
Nuuu, what happened to the cookies?
Umm, I ate all three footless feet.
Oatmeal chocolate-chip/raisin? Tomorrow?
Go suck an elf!!
Clean underwear? Why?
New heights = Elevated intelligence?
I'm never shy, but this is different...
What? I am totally quiet, introverted and shy!!
Call me!!!!
Stupid Feline!!
Unpack, pack, unpack, pack, unpack, pack...

And now, a semi-intelligible word about how to read -
Open the book, look at the squiggles, understand them, internalize them - move on...

Back to the nonsense...

Washing Machines.
Eat worms? Gummy worms? NO? REAL worms?!
Make-up?
I need new Lori-smell!!
I stubbed my toe.
I stubbed another toe.
Stupid toes, they're in such an inconvenient location.
I want a piece of Junk with SLIME in it!!!
I want a pancake!!
Sombody get me a pancake!
NUUUU??!?!?!?!?
Trapezius - pressure point - butt!!!
Poke-Poke-Poke...
Moron.Twit.Idiot.Boy. - ARG!!
I want to get mail!!!
I mean - mail.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I need a new aych-two-oh bottle...
But not aych-two-oh-two - YUM!
Baby Blues = Polly Household.
Carpals, Metacarpals, Tarsals, Metatarsals...
I don't want to sit through another sex ed. class this year.
Don't touch me!!
Smelly Little Dibble Kid.
Elections? Why? New Comedy Show Host?
My sweatshirt ran off with its lover!!
Googly-eyes...
Hairy?
Shove it - up your - NOSE!!
Mice? Where?

Ok - enough for now methinks.

The time has come to make cookie dough - not for cookies though. For the dough. Duh!!

Freddie!! HELP!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

AHAHAHAHHAH!!

Ahem.

Yeah.

Better now.

3 comments:

Chavs said...

wow! (thats all I could come up with...)

Sassy Madricha said...

Sorry I can't help you with much...

Not with the pancake sitz, not with the toes, not with the pesach cleaning, not with the annoying dibbles, not with your voting, not with your lack of scent...

But I did buy you something with slime in it!!

Missing ya tons, Sassy

yo' meanma said...

Wow this is really scarry stuff,

and I actually understood it!

Me thinks that I have been living in the same house with you for 2 long or is that not long enough???