Friday, May 12, 2006

A Bath Scented With Rose Petals...

I'm feeling slightly ill but that could be due to the 'snack' that I ate at 3:00 this morning. I'm not sure, but something tells me that NO doctor would say that french fries, chicken and copious amounts of ketchup are a wise or healthy thing to eat at that time. I mean, night is supposed to be when our bodies rest and rejuvenate. Alas, one night without a 'cool down period' can't kill me. Right? And anyway, I was over-stressed and REALLY not having a good time. Wow, this is the first time I've turned to food in that kind of mood in a REALLY long time. I guess that's a good thing.

Speaking of cutting back - yeah, the numbers are changing (again) just ten more and I'll be at my original goal. Woohoo! What's the grand total thus far? Well let me do the math - yeeeehaw!! A whopping 65 down and just 10 to go!! It's taken a good four years - but like I've said before. I am patient and don't mind waiting for a good thing.

Now I just have to REALLY get personal with the yoga mat and find the muscle. :) Talk about inner strength.

I'm going to make this computer thing work. It doesn't pay to return it so I'll just have to make the best of the situation. Granted the WHOLE fahtunkenah thing is in Hebrew (WAAAAHHH!!! I need somebody who speaks the language!!) and everything is backwards and there's no touch-pad (so I'm going to get carpal tunnel in my right second digit) and it is HUGE compared to my old one and the screen resolution is lower (so I can't get that 'clean' sharp look that I loved) and it doesn't have any of my stuff on it and an and... ok, I guess I'll stop there. What was I saying? Oh yes. I'm going to smile and nod (the way I do for everything else) and try to be a 'big girl' about it. At least I have a new computer. At least I have a computer. Many people don't. Even if I'm not happy with it - I guess I'll just grin and bear it.

That seems to be my lot in life. I want something and then I get it only NOT the way I would have expected. It has happened any number of times in the last few weeks. It seriously makes me want to cry. Things like that are only supposed to happen when a person tries to get what they want through ill-means. What did I do wrong? I don't remember doing anything overly drastic or terrible. I'm just trying to get through my twentieth year.

Shoot. I'm going to be 21 in just 49 days.

I am dreading it. And my hopes of going away for the weekend, well, let's see what kind of hellish turmoil those bring about.

Hellish turmoil. It seems to follow me. Along with dischord and disharmony.

I never thought I would live to see the day.

I've always been such a quiet little girl.

Well, there's a first for everything.

Good Shabbos everybody.


~{~~@ said...

Cheer up, hon! Stop worrying... everything will be just fine, REALLY! I promise...
גם זה יעבור
try enjoying your shabbos- and count your blessings-
love ya

Chavs said...

People always tell me that I'm not happy with what I have. I know what you mean...
it will take some time and you will get used to it and then you will be happy! ya for new thingsQ! change is always difficult

tnspr569 said...

Just a suggestion- you could buy a mouse (i.e. a wireless one made for a laptop) to deal with that issue of the computer problem. Then again, perhaps it is worth it to return the computer- if it will really make a big difference to you, then maybe you should try to get the computer you really want. Just trying to be helpful.