Well, let me begin by saying - starting off the morning by playing with a 74 year old woman's feet is not exactly the most exciting activity. I'd rather give blood or go to a crowded party than do it. Seriously, I mean - I'm going to get through stazh because it is stupid not to - BUT, it's still really really icky.
As much as my job drives me insane and I wish I could spend more time with friends. I do like what I do. And NO - I generally do not answer to Lorelai and no Lori is not short for anything and NO do NOT call me by my middle name. The ONLY person who can get away with that is my Saba.
It's amazing how complicated this stage of life is. I know that every stage comes with its own tests, tasks and the like but really - I have a funny feeling that the one that I am in now is the most life-changing and complicated to fulfill. Besides deciding on a future and a direction for the rest of your life to follow you're supposed to find one person to spend it with - of course, considering we're living in a world with how many people that is NOT the easiest task. *sigh* Sometimes it just seems impossible. Then of course, I remember R' Taub telling us that something hard is something worth striving for and that if it isn't hard then chances are that it isn't REALLY worth it. And I wonder. Is that true? I mean, some people are just blessed and DO get things more easily than others. But, who am I to judge what 'easy' is, I only know what is easy or hard for myself. People are fascinating - they do not realize their own self-worth and can project it by being either to arrogant or to self-depricating, each one is infinitely different yet they can share so many things, some are so selfish that they can't see past their wants and desires while some are so busy trying to help others that they wind up hurting themselves simply because they refuse to accept the reality that they are only human.
To be able to help somebody is an incredible thing. To teach somebody something is an enlightening thing. To reach out to someone and see that you have made a difference is an inspiring thing.
I only hope that I merit to find the needed inspiration in order to enlighten and accomplish the incredible.
Wish me luck...