Sometimes I amuse myself. Sometimes I am so amused by the fact that I have amused myself that I become even more amused which only serves to agitate me further and cause myself to be so amused that I become hysterical.
For the record: I am now speeding or should I say careening towards hysterical.
Why? I am honestly not sure.
Things have been so typical, mundane and boring that one wonders what exactly there is for me to stress about. I suppose the only possiblity is that when life is going 'normally' - one needs something to stress about and to be bothered by. Whereas, when something is actually happening, one has no choice but to be swept along by the tide of things happening.
I am currently pondering the phenomenon wherein people can be so blinded by something that they want that they refuse to see a future in which they don't have that which they desire. Of course, what people often neglect to realize is that - in the end - we will all get what we are supposed to get and wind up with what we are supposed to wind up with (and who we are supposed to wind up with.)
Life is uncertain. The only thing scarier than that is the knowledge that we never know as much as we think and that only hind-sight is 20/20. You can never be 100% sure of the reasons for things.
The only certainty is the knowledge and belief that there is Someone who DOES know the whos, whats, wheres, whens, whys and hows.
At least, I try to take comfort in believing that.
I am not really in control of things at all.
H-shem it's all in Your hands.