Work was the usual. There is something decidedly odd going on in the office but I am not in the habit of listening at closed doors so I am completely uninformed. (This is not blissful unawareness, it is more like a nerve-wracking not-knowingness.) Things are going to change and in a big way. I'm just not sure that it'll be a good change for those of us who have been working there for any period of time.
I was really looking forward to having 'sister-time' tonight at Kad V'Chomer but Freddie is sick (she even got gimmelim) and Brenda is under the weather so she stayed Home today too. Somehow it didn't make sense for them to come into The City for something as pointless as arts-n-crafts, so we rescheduled for some tentatively fictitious date in the not so distantly near future.
On my way back to The Ranch I stopped for a quick sit on a bench in the park. After the break I was reminded of how much I despise Street Scum - like the street trash punks who walk around just asking for it. Then I made my way to Zol Po to track down some eggs for the cakes for Shosh's mishloach manot.
Random thought for the night - I am sick and tired of having to fight all of my battles. Isn't there somebody who can come and play my champion and defender? I'm so fed up with always being thought of as the 'tough' one who has no feelings or emotions and who is cold, callous and almost brutally efficient at the things that she does.
Oh yeah, that was a silly question I suppose. Especially since 'nobody' can reach my ridiculously high standards and expectations.
Am I being stupid? Quite probably.
What to do about it? I guess let it play itself out.
Why? Because the ball is in motion and I haven't got the strength to stop it.
I'm so tired. Tired of all the games and the nuances.
But there is no good reason to want me.
I am all fault & nothing worthwhile.
Just say it already.
You hate me.
I know it.