Shabbos was very nice. Friday night was quiet. I walked up to Aviv with Shani, Little Brother and Matan (who informed me that I would be a lot prettier if I let my hair down - in the literal sense - and that I would surely then benefit from the attentions of 'the boys' as he named them. He was informed by our walking partners that I suffer no shortage of attention and that in the future he should keep his advice to himself.)
Shabbos afternoon was nice. The ט"ו בשבט kiddush in shul was very nice - though there were no wild 'creations' from the Polly's kitchen to grace the tables. I spent the afternoon curled up in the 'big chair' and I made it through 'Till We Have Faces' by C.S. Lewis. I even fell asleep until it started raining on me. Turns out the rain shower was just the $3,000 jacket and a very annoying Little Brother. Then we had an all out water fight which ended with shoes under the bed, a very clean smiley, a dry shower and two VERY wet siblings.
Brenda, Mommy and I watched 'The Devil Wears Prada' and once again I spent the majority of the movie laughing hysterically (to keep from crying.) In a sense I feel like that has been me for the last 14 months. I have been an 'Emily' only I refused to ever give in and wear heels. (And no, the whole wearing pink and earrings thing has nothing to do with work.)
Now I'm back in my room trying to make more important decisions.
Here's a new description of me and the concerns of a true friend:
"...she is sometimes a little too nice. I am just worried she will burn out, but she won’t listen to me."
What should I make of that?
I reckon, in a sense it's a good thing that you don't know the rest of the story.
Thanks everyone for all of the support and love. I really do appreciate it. I'll be ok. I just need to get over these hurdles. And no, I won't stop being me - because it is the quality that we live for, the little things which make life divine and, without the dreams of the dreamers who imagine that the impossible could be the reality - the world would be a sad place indeed.