Thursday, June 26, 2008

Shattered Crystal - Fragile

This morning I was so wrapped up in my own little world. It was scary. Granted, when I walk to work the sun is just rising at the 'wrong' point in the sky (from my vantage point anyway) and the entire walk to work I need to squint in order to see the sidewalk in front of me.

Lately I have been making an effort to walk on the 'other' side of the street, because my customary side of the street has been mostly ripped up by bulldozers and other heavy machinery in order to prepare for the 'light-rail' - the construction crews have left a narrow fenced in area to walk along, but it's not really so convenient, especially as all the boys in The City seem to feel that the narrow passageway is THE ONLY place where they can ride their bicycles.

This morning I left home early so that I would have time to stop at the post office and mail a letter to Brenda. Seeing as the post office is on my customary side of the street I decided against crossing back to the other side. I was doing alright with the pondering in deep-thought, walking, squinting, schlepping my bag, making sure not to get hit by bicycles and all the other stuff I was consciously doing until suddenly, one of the little boys who had been walking about 10 feet in front of me turned around and started walking in a collision course right back towards me. I got a little confused but just hunched over a little bit more and kept right on walking assuming he was playing around and that he'd just go around me. Suddenly he held out his hand as if to push me. I did a double-take and looked down at the ground just in time to feel my foot squish into a home-made sandwich which had dropped out of his plastic lunch bag which had an enormous hole in the side.

I felt AWFUL. No, not just awful, I felt terrible. I felt like a terrible horrible person. I tried to apologize but he just picked up the sandwich with this REALLY sad look and ran for it.

I was so wrapped up in myself that I just hadn't been looking at where I had been going and what was going on around me. I am usually sooo sooo careful! How deep of a funk was I sunk into that I could do such a thing. The sandwich had been in a plastic baggie but all day all I kept thinking was, "that poor kid had to eat a sandwich that had not only fallen on the floor but had been stepped on by some wacko psycho-depressed looking lady."

On the flip side, what kind of impression did I make on this child?

Not a very positive one.

I can tell you that much.

In the future I must strive to keep my eyes open, my ears more aware and my mind free...

No comments: