Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Phil's Burfday Party...

I am currently reclining in a 'borrowed' office chair. I am hiding out at the back of the office, in the graphics aquarium, so that the boss who is here won't find me. 2 out of 3 bosses are not in today and I was hoping that the 3rd wouldn't show but of course with my luck that he came in - early.

The real reason I was hoping he wouldn't be in was that I was looking forward to a quiet sort of day. With only 2 more full days (and the rest of today) left in the employment of the office, I am getting ridiculously antsy to finally be free.

I'm not sure what I'll do once I'm free. Actually just last night I was thinking to myself that I am going to be soooo ridiculously bored without a 'time schedule' in my life. Last time (3 years ago) it was a complete disaster but then I started working at the office. I guess I'll just take vacation until I can't handle it anymore and when the pleasure of freedom becomes too much to handle I will simply shackle myself into some new boring routine. Goody goody goody. Happy thoughts and things to look forward to.

I have spent today doing nothing much of any importance. The only 'work related' things I did were chasing a form from the bank for my bosses personal business and teaching my replacement how to fill out order forms. (Only to find out that the person who had been dealing with the project until they left for vacation had already prepared them all.)

I am quite bored. I picked up birthday cupcakes for Brenda becuase she told me that she would be coming into the city this afternoon to visit me, but it turns out that the parentals have agreed to come in with the birthday girl and the dibble for some baguettes and a trip to the kotel. Now I am short at least 2 cupcakes but the heat outside is brutal and I haven't really got energy to shlep back to Geulah again to get more. I feel like an evil person not having enough cupcakes for everyone. :(

Alright - a vicious bout of boredom and writers block have completely stupefied my mind and I can't think of anything else to say.

I'll be back soon...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Visit Freddie at Work Day...

Last Tuesday did not follow in the footsteps of my recent 'positive Tuesday swing' - Lately my Tuesdays have been on the 'up' and my once most hated day of the week has become something to experience and not to dread from the moment I wake up.

However, Tuesday August 19th was a Tuesday from some other dimension.

It started off with a bit of apprehension as does any Tuesday. However, by the time I was ready to leave for work I was feeling pretty good. I was dressed all cute and was comfy in my Crocs. I left my house the way I do pretty much every day. I was even smiling and in a good mood.

However as I made my way down the little pathway towards the Central Bus Station, I came to the 2nd set of stairs and (although it wasn't wet) it was ridiculously slippery. My purse (which until then had been held together with safety pins) decided to go rogue. The pins all opened simultaneously and the bag plummeted to the ground (taking with it; both my phones, my I-pod, my camera, my snacks for the day - alright, maybe I HAD overloaded the bag a bit.) Anyway, as I felt it fall, I made the conscious decision to let it go. I knew that if I reached for it I would tumble down the stairs. Somehow, devoid of the weight on my left side I was unable to stabilize and balance myself and half a second later I found myself flat on my back sprawled across all 7 stairs. I then oozed down the stairs and crumpled into a ball at the base of the staircase.

As if to make this all seems just a bit more surreal, 6 little charedi kids, all under the age of 7 with absolutely no adult supervision, with the long curly peyos and those stupid little backpacks and their matching plaid shirts were congregated across the pathway from the stairs. As I blinked the world back into focus, there they were pointing and laughing and as if I had not been there they stupidly yelled, "Hey lady! You fell down!"


I then realized that I was sort of sitting on my left hand. I figured I had broken my fall with it. I checked out the damage, realized it was going to swell a bit and took off my rings and watch. This wasn't a moment too soon because as I stood up my hand and wrist swelled to 2 times their normal size. I then realized that my white shirt was all dirty, so I decided to go home, change and get some ice.

About 20 minutes later, wearing a clean shirt and a makeshift ice-pack holder, I decided to try to go to work again. I took my bus-card out of my wallet to avoid fumbling around one-handedly in my purse once I got to the bus and I left.

I walked out of the apartment with the card in my hand, held between my 2nd and 3rd fingers. I got into the elevator with the card. I got to the ground floor with the card. I walked through the entrance of the building with the card. I stepped out into the sunlight and took 2 steps forward when I realized that lo and behold, the card was gone. I retraced my steps, once, twice, three times. I checked in the elevator. I checked on the ground. I checked in the garbage can. I checked the hallway upstairs. I got annoyed. The card was no where to be found. I went back home. Again. I related the series of events to Z and he looked at me incredulously and in utter disbelief. He said that if I didn't want to go to work I should just stay home but that I shouldn't make up ridiculous stories. Then as if to prove a point, he offered to accompany me on another 'retraced steps' mission. So, down we went. We looked in the hall, the elevator, the entry-way to the building, in the garbage can, the mailboxes, the stairwell, the garden and under the hedges along the pathway. We looked everywhere. But we found no cartisiyah.

A few weeks ago Z and I watched an amusing clip about alien abduction. Two guys wanted to find out whether alien abductions are factual occurrences. They attended a 'UFO convention' in an attempt to 'learn the truth' - in addition, they interviewed a number of alien abduction regression therapists. Supposedly these therapists can help a person recall what was going on during the time that they spent 'abducted' by aliens. It seems that generally the experience cannot be recalled consciously because aliens have techniques to mask the memories but this subconscious therapy can restore the event to you in full detail. The therapist explained that there are certain symptoms which can indicate that you have been abducted by aliens. One of these symptoms is a 'time lapse' or 'a short span of time which completely seems to disappear from your memory.' It is a hole in the thread of your life. You can't remember what you were doing and everything seems fuzzy.

Somehow, this is the only reasonable explanation that I can think of which fits the situation. I had the card in my hand before I stepped out of the building and when I stepped out of the entrance of the building into the blinding sun I must've been picked up by a passing ship. I don't know if they wanted to look through the contents of my head or they just wanted a bus-card. All I know is if they wanted a bus-card they should've gotten on a bus and bought their own. Mine still had 9 out of 10 punches left on it.

Darn aliens...

Monday, August 18, 2008


It's 2:22 in the morning and I can't sleep.

I can't get comfortable in my stupid kiddie bunk-bed. I can't fall asleep. I am ridiculously shvitzy. My legs are entering another ridiculously dry cycle and are soooo itchy that I just want to scratch them off.

I'm supposed to be at work super-early tomorrow because I am leaving at 1:00 PM to go to the dentist in RBS. (And it's not like THAT'S going to be fun.) On an even MORE exciting note, I'm going to have to be all happy and chipper at the office because my replacement trainee is coming in tomorrow for the very first time and I'm supposed to begin showing her the ropes.

I have a funny sneaking suspicion that the new girl is going to end up 'filing' (or sitting around bored) while all of the bosses continue to torture me - because sadly, they know that torturing me will get the work done much more quickly and efficiently. I guess it's a good thing that I am leaving early.

At least I can smile and know that I only need to go into the office on another 10 days as an official employee.

Still, I REALLY wish I could get some sleep.

Sadly it eludes me tonight and I don't have the energy to even seek it out.

I've been working on a latch-hook project which was bought for Sammy. It is a big ol' happy colored 'Peanuts' picture and I would go work on it now but that would involve turning on the light and actually paying attention to colors and numbers which I don't believe that I have the mental facilities to accomplish due to the exhaustion racing my brain and body.

I wish I could sleep.

I'm so darn tired.

Brenda is coming Home on Tuesday. I want to go see her. But I'm already going to Bet Shemesh 2 times this week - it doesn't make sense to go a third time as well. ARG! The stupidity of time constraints. How am I supposed to live my life when my life is constantly governed by the shackles of responsibility and other people?!! ARG! I want to answer to NO ONE!!! I am sick of being owned. I literally feel like a slave with no freedom of my own.

10 more working days, right??! Right.


Thursday, August 14, 2008

...Fishy Crackers...

I must admit. I absolutely love having a husband who cooks. (Or at least claims to be able to cook in any event.)

If we gloss over the fact that he never seems to remember to rinse off chicken that he picked up at the shuk, doesn't wash or even wipe the tops of cans, neglects to wash vegetables that he is too lazy to peel...etc... yeah, the cooking is pretty good. (I just try NOT to think about what went into the cooking process and I usually try to stay out of the kitchen when he is 'creating' - because it makes it easier to digest the meal once it's ready.)

I DO have a pet peeve which is one of those 'space' issues. You see, we have EXTREMELY limited counter space. So, if there are any dirty dishes left from last night or from breakfast this morning - then when he goes to cook he just moves them all to the back of the counter and goes about his business. I always make it my business to go in and try to separate everything (cause I don't think that meat dishes from the night before should be touching the chalavi bowl from cereal and milk that morning. Maybe it's just me...) And let's not talk about when chicken/meat cutting comes around. Doesn't matter what's on the counter - it's GOING TO have meat splattered on it. That's 150% for sure. Not just a possability or even a probability, it is fact.

So - aside from the fact that 80% of the stuff in my kitchen is probably treif now (between what I mentioned above not to mention the treif contertops & sink...) we seem to get along in the cooking department.

BUT one thing that we completely DISAGREE upon is the correct way to make chicken soup.

In my mind - chicken soup is a delicately flavored, golden yellow, health enriching liquid substance. Seasoned with dill and parsley, possibly a dash of salt and maybe a little pepper it's the best medicine for just about anything that ails you - mental, physical, spiritual or otherwise. Of course, there should be some vegetables foating around in the soup; onion, carrots, zucchini and even a potato isn't out of place if you like it. But said vegetables should be in nice BIG pieces. After all, it's the CHICKEN part of the chicken soup that you're eating it for.

In his mind chicken soup takes on a totally different I don't even know what to call it. All I do knwo is that, he likes A LOT of flavor in his soup and he assumes that this comes from the vegetables & from the time that the stuff spends on the stove.

Since I dislike playing with the raw chicken and he thinks it's a game to play with chicken shears and bones - I let him buy the chicken and divide it up. One bag for skin, bones and goop for soup, a second bag for my white meat pieces (the bones and skins of which go into the soup bag) and a third bag for the dark meat.

Of course, the OTHER job I let him have is the making of the chicken soup. Every time this is executed a bit differently.

'Zalman's 10 steps to 'flavorful' chicken soup...'

1. puree' 2 onions, 3 carrots, 2 zucchini in food processer. (I actually stopped him from puree'ing the vegetables and FORCED him to at least use the 'slice' blade.)
2. saute vegetables until soft.
3. add 4-6 cloves of fresh crushed garlic.
4. add chicken bones (this includes; 1 neck, 2 wings, bones from white meat), skin and goop from 1 whole chiken.
5. add water
6. allow to boil for approximately 5-7 hours (although this could also be overnight...)
7. strain through cheesecloth (or in our case - through a clean kitchen towel...) this is in order to remove all bones, goop and shards of bones and goop. (He'd actually skip this step but then I wouldn't eat it.)
8. chill in fridge
9. remove 'fat' layer
9. add NEW vegetables (onion, zucchini, carrots...)
10. bring to a boil and keep it cooking until the vegetables are good and cooked.

I dunno about you but it sounds more like some weird 'fleishigs' vegetable soup than any kind of chiken soup. I mean, you won't even taste any chicken.

If it were up to me and I were bothering to do steps 1-3 I would just skip steps 4-10 and throw in a handful of barley instead.

Maybe I'm just lazy...

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


It's incredible how with just a few quick words someone can make you feel so gosh-darn worthless. You know that 'all of a sudden' cold lump in your throat knot in your stomach, wanting to throw up but not sure what exactly feeling that makes tears spring to your eyes and causes you to want to be 12 feet underground?

Well, I'm sorry I bothered...
I'm sorry I bothered buying you the breakfast cereal you like.
I'm sorry I bothered making dinner.
I'm sorry I bothered taking out the garbage.
I'm sorry I bothered clearing & setting the table.
I'm sorry I bothered folding your laundry.
I'm sorry I bothered serving you dinner.
I'm sorry I bothered clearing up after dinner.
I'm sorry I bothered washing the dishes.

Why are you the only one who is ever allowed to be right?

Because I don't believe in hitch-hiking? Because I don't think that being a jerk to people who annoy me is the right way to go? Because I think that labeling things by their specific nouns is more appropriate than inserting pronouns in every statement that I make?! WHY?!


Ok, so I have to be more supportive - but it's hard since it seems like you're not really putting in the effort to succeed. (What are you reading right now anyway?!) Somehow, reading the dictionary two days before (again) doesn't really seem like an overly practical solution.


Still, it doesn't mean that I don't love you.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


It's only 11:52 a.m. but I just wanted to re-cap regarding last night's post. Zalman came home (without any friends) and straightened up the apartment and washed the dirt dishes and did an all around general wipe-up of the mess. (This was before I even said anything or told him about my blogpost - for the record.) I finally found the koach to 'plunger' the drain in the shower (which helped) and then I tried the sink but it didn't actually work. So, I poured down some of the corrosive caustic chemical and 1/2 an hour later the water whizzed happily away down the pipes. Ta-da.

I spoke to Freddie on the phone. She is coming over for dinner tonight and Eli will be coming to sleep over whenever he gets off of work. I'm going to make; vegetable soup, garlic bread, 'cascasooon' and we're going to have a BIG yummy salad even.

This morning I left early enough that I had time to deposit my paycheck in the bank (and I was good and took out my ma'aser money straight away.) I also brought an empty backpack with me so that I can go out to the shuk to pick up groceries for dinner tonight.

From when I walked into the office (15 minutes early) I was bombarded with work to do. Somehow I managed to get it done (I hope I got it all right.) now the bosses are heading out to meetings in Tel Aviv which means a little less pressure and some time to organize my desk and file the pile of papers that I've got on my tower.

I'm thinking that maybe I should go down and visit Zalman at work. Maybe the french fries will be fresh today. Is it even worth the effort. I guess I'll go call him and find out.

More later?


Monday, August 04, 2008

Prehistoric Bubbles...

Lately I've been dealing with stupid people a lot. It's REALLY starting to frazzle me. You say to someone, "please see the attached document which details the technical specifications of the 2 options and let us know which one you want." Then not 5 minutes later you get some crazed woman in a complete panic screaming over the phone, "what are the sizes? I can't choose one if you don't tell me what my options are." So you tell her to check her e-mail. "Oh. Well. it wasn't there before" she tells you... Ummmm, ok then. Then there was the woman who had trouble counting to 6. They signed an order for 6 ads (A 5 paid + 1 free deal) and at the time that they signed they chose 5 dates for ads to appear and left one to be allocated. 7 months after signing the original contract they want to run an ad on a specific date, so we tell them that we will simply allocate the final ad in their contract to the specified date. Nope, not good enough for them. The woman wants to know why when we send her the revised order her free ad is no longer listed. I try to explain. It IS still there, but now it's allocated for that specific date. She still doesn't get it. So I get her on the phone andshow her: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. She STILL doesn't get it. FINALLY about 2 hours later she e-mails an obnoxious response along the lines of, "well why didn't you say so?" What an imbecile. (Sorry, I know that was sort of a rant. I just REALLY had to get it off my chest.)

In other news, I am sick and fed-up of feeling hated for 2 weeks out of every month. I'm also getting relatively fed-up with G-d and Judaism and all of the stupid rules that it involves. I don't care if I sound like a heretic, I suppose that's what I am. That's just how I'm feeling right now. And NO it DOESN'T feel nice.

Also, I want to curl up in a corner and die because my apartment is such a disgusting mess. I have no energy to clean the place on weeknights after putting in a full day of work which means that the floors only gets swept/washed, the bathrooms only get cleaned and the laundry only gets done on...erev-shabbat. That's all very well and good but I wasn't home for shabbat 2 weeks ago, I wasn't home for shabbat this past week and I'm not going to be home for shabbat this week either. Last night I finally caved and cleaned the toilet (because it was BEYOND grossing me out) and today I FINALLY picked up some Israel-type Drain-O (because out bathroom sink and the bathtub are giving us trouble.) But I can't walk around without shoes on because my feet get gross, the entire kitchen counter is covered in dirty dishes (including a pot from last Thursday night), my backpack along with all of my junk from this past shabbat is literally scattered across the disgustingly hairy/dusty rug in my living room (although I distinctly remmeber leaving it all on a chair in the corner), there's still laundry from last week sitting in the dryer waiting to be folded, there's laundry hanging on the line (which has been there for at least 2 weeks), I have 'bedding' on my couch because random people keep sleeping over, my fridge is slimy inside because something leaked about a month ago and I just haven't had time to clean it out properly, the shelves around my apartment have SUCH a thick layer of dust on them that rather than taking notes on paper I could just as easily etch it into the grime. I am living in a dump and I literally have NO energy to clean it all up. I just want to sit and cry. I want a clean house. (Sigh - sorry about that. I'm just having a hard day and want to get it all out. Maybe I'll even inspire myself to clean - that is, if my thoguhtful husband doesn't bring home MORE hungry friends.)

At least I took out the garbage, there were 2 bags of it and it was smelling pretty awful this morning.

Have I mentioned that I HATE not having pretty candlesticks for shabbat. Have I mentioned that I HATE sleeping in a stuipd bunk-bed? (Not that it really matters MOST of the time...)

Today I ate a whole lot of random stuff. Multi-grain Cheerios, Mini-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies, a little box of Shoko, 2 taste-treats that I had left over from yesterday and ummm, yeah - that was it. I bought a fresh roll this morning with Ayala when we were on our way to town and all day I meant to go out to the shuk and pick up a few slices of good mozzarella cheese to make a cheese n' ketchup sandwich, but somehow I never got around to it. And now I'm not really all that hungry. (I think the grime in my apartment is supressing my appetite.)

Yesterday I found blue kitchen sponge at the 'shekel v'chetzi' store. It was quite exciting.

This morning I actually sent a letter off to Brenda. I REALLY hope I put enough postage on it and I hope that it makes it to Manalapan before her time there is up and she comes back Home.

Have I mentioned that I have only 18 working days left at the office? How insane is that?!

Ok - I give up. I'm going to go color a picture or something. I don't have the energy for any more words.