Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Excitation...

Ever feel like you're out of your element? I don't just mean out of your comfort zone - I mean waaaay past feeling like you can 'push through' and survive? Yeah, so that's how today was.
Close friends of ours from way back when had a baby (Mazal Tov Guths!) The bris was scheduled to take place in Jeru this afternoon. After being in The Sun House 2 shabbatot ago, I hadn't planned on leaving my house for 3 weeks (for anything further than the center of town or the grocery store) because I'm trialling new foods and never know how the reaction will pan out. Best case all is well, worst case I'm sick to stomach for a week. I really wanted to go to the bris but wasn't sure how I'd be feeling.

This morning I woke up pretty early feeling icky, or should I say, this morning icky feelings woke me pretty early. (Probably on account of the 1 leaf of lettuce that I was stupid enough to try eating last night with my chicken and rice.) I thought it might subside, but hours later no such luck. I figured that maybe I could trick my stomach into feeling better if I decided to cancel the trip to Jeru - but that didn't work either. Finally I got up, got dressed and after 2 frantic trips to the toilet we left the house. Driving down the back-exit from the city I felt miserable. As we made our way along Rt 60 I just kept feeling worse and worse. I figured it was nerves and anxiety so I drove past Eli, and then past Shilo sure that I would make it to the final destination. At Ofra I finally pulled in and had to take a rest stop. I was shaking and feeling awful. We filled up on petrol (so that the trip wouldn't seem wasted) then when I felt in-control of myself we turned back towards Ariel.

I felt like an extreme failure. I made it halfway to Jeru before turning around like a baby and giving-up. Next thing I knew I was crying - so I pulled into the road to Shilo, pulled over on the shoulder, put the car in park and bawled my eyeballs out for a good long time. Z handed me a package of tissues. When my head was pounding, my nose was stuffed and I had run out of tears I got back on the road. We drove back to Ariel without any further incidents.

As we approached the gate of the city Z suggested that we go into town for a bit. (He knew that if we went straight home I'd probably plop myself on the couch and mope self-loathingly for the rest of the day.)
First we drove into town and parked at one end of the parking lot. Then we walked the length of the strip of stores. We stopped at the 'nature-store' and Z bought me some slivered almonds and chocolate as a present. Our next stop was at the little 'industrial area' again we parked at one end and walked all the way around the loop of stores. Z picked out a fish for dinner (a new little fish store opened 'round these parts - it seems nice and clean, so we decided to sample the wares.) Then we stopped at the 'spice-store' to check out their dried herbs (I'm thinking of making some of that tomato basil bread for lunch tomorrow.) We then made our way up the mountain. First we stopped at the 'Almog' shopping center (where Z picked up a garlic-shnitzel-baguette at the 'Shnitzalia' for lunch.) Then we popped into Z's studio so that he could pick up some files from a classmate for a group project that they're working on this semester.

Back at Home, Z seasoned and prepped his fish for dinner. I worked on my arts-n-crafts project for tomorrow. You see, The Crazy Lady & Yo'Abba are coming to visit tomorrow. Mean'ma is bringing her sewing machine so that I can finally turn a bunch of flat-sheets into duvet-covers and pillowcases. Yo'Abba is just coming along for the ride - but hey, everybody needs a change of scenery every once in a while. Right? Plus - they're getting lunch out of it. I just have to figure out what to make.
All in all it was both a failure of a day and a successful day. I tried - that's really all I can say. Next time I'll do better. I guess years of issues can't be resolved with a snap of the fingers.

One step at a time, right?

Yes, one step at a time.

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