Sunday, November 10, 2013

Frozen Monkeys...

I've been a mom for 19 months. For the first 16 of those months it felt like a role I served in name only. I was the 'secondary' parent, there was no doubt about it. While I relished things like staying in bed through night wake-ups, and not feeling required to step up to change most of the dirty diapers - when it came time for support or bonding, it hurt more than a little to watch my baby run immediately to someone else. Over the last three months I have been making significant efforts to become a 'primary' parent too. Basically that means stepping up to do stuff for my child, and making him feel comfortable enough to come to me, to choose me, when he is looking for help or comfort. Thankfully the efforts are paying off. Tonight Buzz drifted to sleep snuggled on the couch with me, and as I heard his breathing deepen into the regular rhythm of soft slumber, a wave of chills washed over me - here we were, it was his bedtime exactly, and he was asleep! It might not seem like much, but the facts that he comes to me first thing in the morning toting a fuzzy friend and his water cup, and that he's content to go to sleep on time with me leading the bedtime routine - are ENORMOUS steps forward for me - or rather, for us.

This morning was quiet and boring. I didn't fall asleep until almost 3am (on account of a cup of regular coffee that I drank at 8am on Saturday) so I was pretty wiped out when Buzz woke me at 6am. I basically wasted the morning and watched a whole lot of tv. Buzz took his nap on time so when he woke up at a little before 1pm I figured we should probably run the errands that needed to be done. Z was busy doing 'work' and opted not to come adventuring with us.

Our first stop was in RBS where we picked up a cute little winter coat for Buzz. I bought it for a great price, from of a friend, brand new - tags still on, Osh Kosh brand. It is adorable. Buzz saw it, squealed with delight, then insisted on hugging it in the car for the next leg of the journey.

I wanted to give Z more time to work, so we stopped at The FamBily House for a few hours. The second par of my 'next direct' order had arrived. Phil's onesie-pjs, Shabbos pants for Buzz, and an adorable winter hat&mitten set. Buzz played Xbox and cooked. I wandered around, thankful to have a haven to 'crash' at. We left at 5:30pm so that we could go home and get a bottle for the Buzzmonster.

Z accompanied Yo'Abba to a shiur in the neighboring neighborhood. They left a few minutes before bedtime which is why I was the one who got the honor of wrestling Buzz into pjs, helping him brush his teeth and round up his stuffed animals, and finally getting him to sleep.

Thankfully it went very smoothly. I treated myself to an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie (or three) as a reward for a job well done.

Tomorrow morning I should really get started on the 'to-do' list that I wrote up on Friday. Z has class in the evening so I only have the morning to work. I wonder whether I'll manage to be productive or not. Hopefully Phil will come over to play tomorrow night - we're trying desperately to get through season two of Gilmore Girls - it just seems to be taking forever.

No comments: